I know for a fact that some of these things are true--

Shamrock, BSN, RN · Mar 31, 2003

If the same child pulled all those stunts I think they are quite inventive!! And maybe watching too much TV!! Funny!

kittyw · Mar 31, 2003

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens. ....

25. It takes 3 seconds to put out a plastic toy oven fire, and 10 hours to clear out the smoke with all fans running and all windows open.

:)

ShandyLynnRN, BSN, RN · Mar 31, 2003

Boy does that hit close to home! Does anyone have any ideas to what a six year old can do to "show how strong he is" without destroying flower pots and dinnerware?

Sable's mom · Mar 31, 2003

I'm not sure what they can do to show "how strong I am", but I do know that a six year old trying toshow "how high I can jump" can pull a ceiling fan out of the ceiling!! It was a VERY big mess - no injuries.

LuvLife · Mar 31, 2003

Thank you sooo much for that post...my husband and I WERE thinking about starting a family soon....LOL

ShandyLynnRN, BSN, RN · Mar 31, 2003

When my son was 3, he was really into Toy Story and Buzz Lightyear. I don't know what made me get up earlier than usual... as I would usually just hear him playing in his room and snooze for a bit longer. So I was sitting on the couch, eating cereal (also don't know why the TV wasn't on because I ALWAYS had it on) and I hear a thump and a cry. This wasn't unusual, and at first I didn't think anything of it as I usually would just let him soothe himself. But I DID go to his room, and found him standing at the bottom of his brand new bunk bed with the dogs leash around his neck!!! Thank God that lease was longer than the height of his bed! He had put it around his neck and jumped from the top bunk. His answer to my obvious, "what the heck did you do!" was, "I was trying to fly like buzz lightyear."

He had a nasty "leash burn" on his neck for a few days, but he never tried THAT again. It was the first time in a long time that he wanted to sit in my lap and cuddle. Scared the heck outta me! He told me "if I had died, then you wouldn't have a little boy anymore".

Liann · Mar 31, 2003

26. Plastic "toy" hammers should not be used on glass coffee table tops.

Makes a terrible mess..luckily the frame held and the glass stayed put. My son's first word was "broke"

Liann · Mar 31, 2003

27. crayons that are given out to children at restaurants should be left at the restaurant.

and its corollary...

28. Check all pockets before running a load of boy laundry. Red crayon does NOT wash out...

OBNURSEHEATHER · Mar 31, 2003

Originally posted by andylane78
Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

:rotfl:

Andy S., BSN, RN · Mar 31, 2003

LOL, I just realized that deespoohbear just posted the same thing a little while ago! OOops!

Andy

RNonsense · Mar 31, 2003

Are You Ready for Children?

Are you considering having children? To determine

whether you are truly prepared for the experience, we

suggest you take this set of simple tests...

MESS TEST:

Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub

your hands in the wet flower bed and rub on the walls.

Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick

behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

TOY TEST:

Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos. (If Legos are not

available, you may substitute roofing tacks or broken

bottles.) Have a friend spread them all over the house.

Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or

kitchen. Do not scream (this could wake a child at

night).

GROCERY STORE TEST:

Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and

take them with you as you shop at the grocery store.

Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat

or damage.

DRESSING TEST:

Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a

small net bag making sure that all arms stay inside.

FEEDING TEST:

Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with

water. Suspend from the ceiling with a stout cord.

Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of

soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the

mouth of the jug while pretending to be an airplane.

Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

NIGHT TEST:

Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with

8 to 12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water.

At 8:00 PM begin to waltz and hum with the bag until

9:00 PM. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00

PM. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you

have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing

these too until 4:00 AM. Set alarm for 5:00 AM. Get up

and make breakfast. Keep this up for five years. Look

cheerful.

PHYSICAL TEST (WOMEN)

Obtain a large beanbag chair and attach it to the front

of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now

remove 10% of the beans.

PHYSICAL TEST (MEN):

Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the

counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to

the nearest food store. Go to the head office and

arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to

the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it

quietly for the last time.

FINAL ASSIGNMENT:

Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture

them on how they can improve their discipline,

patience, tolerance, toilet training, and child's table

manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize

to them that they should never allow their children to

run riot. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last

time you will have all the answers.