Humorus List of Hospital Job Roles

Is this it?

Surgeon:
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
Is more productive than a train
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Talks with God


Internist:
Leaps short buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is faster than a speeding BB
Walks on water if the sea is calm
Talks with God if special request is approved
General Practitioner:
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
Can fire a speeding bullet
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Is occasionally addressed by God


Resident:
Barely clears a picket fence
Loses tug-of-war with a train
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Swims well
Talks with animals

Intern:
Makes high skid marks on a wall when trying to leap buildings
Is run over by a train
Is not issued ammunition
Dog paddles
Talks to walls

Medical Student:
Runs into buildings
Recognizes a train 2 out of 3 times
Wets himself with a water pistol
Cannot stay afloat without a life preserver
Mumbles to himself
Nurse:
Lifts buildings and walks under them
Kicks trains off the track
Catches speeding bullets with her teeth and eats them
Freezes water with a single glance
The Nurse IS God!!!!