How to Waterproof a Cigarette

Joanne and Sandie are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Joanne pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette and continues smoking.

Sandie: What in the hell is that?

Joanne: A condom - this way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Sandie: Where did you get it?

Joanne: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Sandie hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, slightly embarrassed, looks at Sandie kindly (she is, after all, over 80 years of age) and very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.
'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'

The pharmacist fainted.