How to tell you've worked too many shifts in a row

• When you finally get home and answer your cell phone with, "Good evening, This is Nurse Angie on Unit 5E" --and not only is it your private number, it's 11 am.
• When you haven't been home in so long there's dust on the dishes you left in the sink.

You fall asleep in the car in the driveway at home. It is just 10 steps too far to get into the house. Hubby wakes you up asking why you are still in the car 6 hours later as he pulls in from work.

Sugar in the fridge and milk on the counter.

You try and put deodorant on your toothbrush and can't figure out what the problem is.

I've put the cereal in the fridge and the milk in the pantry more times than I can count.
I've completely forgotten to put toothpaste on my toothbrush.
I don't sit down before I jump in the shower, because if I do there will be no prying my butt off the couch. (not to mention the ick factor of hospital cooties on my furniture!!)

What really twerks me off, though, is coming off my last shift and then dreaming about work all freakin' day! I thought I left that hellhole!

When I start smashing my food with a fork.

When you go to get changed into uniform and wonder what shirt (if any) you're going to find under your jacket as you were still asleep when you got dressed.

I've done an entire ED nightshift in my sleep at the end of a run of nights - it was really busy too, I woke up exhausted!

When you finally manage to fall asleep only to wake up to DH laughing at you b/c you were asking him to "roll over so I can check your bottom"!

Or after a shift in the nursery, you are woken up from the cat clawing to get away from you b/c you were "burping" him in your sleep!

"...When you go to get changed into uniform and wonder what shirt (if any) you're going to find under your jacket as you were still asleep when you got dressed..." mree


Me too... but it's usually the bra that doesn't make it.

Reminds me of the old days, when I'd work four or five consecutive 12s (nocs) and wake up in the middle of the afternoon wondering where the hell I was. A & O x 3, I wasn't!

You know you've worked too many shifts in a row when you have to pry your sneakers off your feet with a crowbar.......

.........when your entire wardrobe is in the laundry basket and it's not even Sunday yet
.........when, during the course of a conversation, you fall asleep in mid-sentence and do a face-plant in your egg salad sandwich
.........when you wonder who the 80-year-old staring back at you from the mirror might be
..........when you look at the son whom you remember as being about nine years old, and ask "Hey, when did you start growing that soul patch?"

When you hallucinate black cats running across the road in front of your car and keep slamming on the brakes to avoid hitting them. Oh...and that fact that there seem to be a lot of black cats does not seem odd to you at all.