Holiday Rum Cake

I love this one....probably very old but it still makes me laugh!

HOLIDAY RUM CAKE

1 or 2 Quarts Rum
1 TSP Sugar
1 Cup Dried Fruit
1 TSP Baking Powder
1 TSP Baking Soda
1 Cup Butter
1 TSP Lemon Juice
2 Large Eggs
Nuts
Brown Sugar

Before you start, sample the rum to check for quality. Good, isn't it?

Now go ahead. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check rum again. It must be just right. To be sure the rum is of the highest quality, pour one level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat.

With an electric mixer, beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of thugar and beat again.

Meanwhile, it's important to make sure the rum is of the finest quality - try another cup. Open the second quart of rum, if necessary.

Add two arge leggs, two cups of fried druit and beat until high. If the druit gets stuck in the beaters, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the rum again, checking for tonscisticity. Next, sift free cups of pepper or salt (it really doesn't matter).

Sample the bum again.

Sift one pine of lemon juice. Add one babblespoon of brown thugar, or whatever color you can find. Mix mell. Grease oven and turn cake pan to 350 gredees. Now pour the whole mess into the coven and ake.

Check the thum again and go to bed