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| |  A healthy diet with God's help
In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli,
cauliflower, and
spinach, green, yellow, and red vegetables of all
kinds; so Man and Woman
would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Ben
and Jerry's and Krispy
Kreme. And Satan said, "You want hot fudge with
that?" And Man said,
"Yes!"
and Woman said, "I'll have another with sprinkles."
And lo and behold they
gained 10 pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might
keep the figure that
Man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat,
and sugar from the
cane,
and combined them. And Woman went from size 2 to size
10.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."
And Satan presented crumbled Bleu Cheese dressing and
garlic toast on the
side And Man and Woman unfastened their belts
following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy
vegetables and olive oil in
which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut shrimp,
butter dipped lobster
chunks and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its
own platter. And Man's
cholesterol went through the roof.
God then brought forth running shoes so that his
Children might lose those
extra pounds.
And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote
control so Man would not
have to toil changing the channels. And man and woman
laughed and cried
before the flickering light and started wearing
stretch jogging suits.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in
fat and brimming with
potassium and good nutrition.
Then Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced
the starchy center into
chips and deep-fried them in animal fats and added
copious quantities of
salt And Man put on more pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume
fewer calories and still
satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created McDonald's and the 99-cent double
cheeseburger. Then
Lucifer said, "You want fries with that?" and Man
replied, "Yes! And super
size' em!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went
into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
And Satan created HMOs.
Amen
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