Have you ever...

I can't believe this came up! When I was a CNA in a nursing home, I had a favorite patient of mine with end-stage Parkinson's disease. She could not move anything and I had to feed her with a syringe. (back when that was allowed). One evening, as I was getting her ready for bed, I slipped one out and said "Mildred, how rude"... This sweet lady couldn't move but she started laughing so hard her body shook. When I checked on her later that night, she still had a smile on her face.

omg. this thread is hilarious!

took me til my 3rd year to know what MI meant...I was sharing that story with a group of newly qualified nurses, trying to explain the novice to expert thing and that now I had been nursing so long it didn't bother me to ask the stupid question, the point being that every one talked so confidently about their pt's MI, I just knew that they would think I was such an idiot because I didn't know and the longer it went on the less I could ask, but now I was confident I could ask dumb questions, knowing that other people, knew I wasn't stupid (I hope) they looked at me like I was a slug but the nurse educator was laughing and told them that when he first qualified he worked in CCU and it took him 18 months to realise how serious an inferior MI was...he said "I just kept thinking well if it's and inferior one it can't be that bad"

think I just posted to the wrong one sorry!!! its a novice thing whoops

I have passed a real fragrant one in the hall when no one was around. It was near a bathroom. (It wasn't me--honest.:idntdt

One of my mom's friends told of how her mother would let a fart slip silently out in a theater, then she would give the person sitting next to her an indignant look. That was so funny.

I got pulled to endo from my regular unit, and was recovering patients s/p colonoscory.. This was my first time to recover patients, and I knew you got air in during the procedure, but I was still shocked when there were 2 side by side and it's like they were playing a concert! From bed A to B, and back and forth, and they were farts you could hear down the hall, like they had eaten pizza and beer before.

Bed A - "phhhhhhhhhhhart!""
Bed B - "fffffaaarttttt"
Bed A - "honk honnnnnk"
Bed B - "phaaarrrrrt"

I knew they couldn't help it, but an OB nurse got pulled there with me, and we both cracked up. Laughing so hard we both cried. It was hysterical!!!!
After that I knew I would NEVER want to have a colon at a hospital where I worked or knew people. I could just see the nurses on the phone, """oh, man. you wouldn't believe it. Anne was down here having a _____ and you should have heard her. She farted so hard the paint almost peeled off the walls!

One time in a patients room, and the MD, one of my favorite docs and he was draining the patient's knee. I took a step back, and when I did, I was mortified!!! He stops in midproicedure, and the patient, in pain, looks over at me and both burst out laughing. It was the first time I saw a knee drained, and stupid me, I just thought I would throw up!! Boy was I wrong!!!!

Anne




!

When I was a LTC CNA, I was feeding a patient, and leaned forward to get something off her tray, and ripped a loud one. I looked at the patient, and said something to the CNA sitting near me about how she was gonna be fun to clean up later. I got away with it!

I'm a vegetarian, and fruit and certain vegetables seem to make me fart uncontrollably, as well as beans of course. And I do mean uncontrollably. I'll squeeze my buttcheeks together as I'm going down the hall, but because I have a rectovaginal fistula, all my farts loudly find their way out anyway. Okay, I know that's probably too much information and completely gross. But for cryin' out loud it's #$%&*@# embarassing, and not something I would talk to anyone about face to face. (gettin' up the courage to talk to the PCP)

hahahah
i can't stop laughing....
And i was taking care of an old lady, she farted often...one morning we were talking for sth and she just fart again and start laughing, then again...and on the 3rd time she asked me to help her with cleaning her as*

Hehe, I can blame mine on the gassy babies!

Swear to God..I did this. My very first clinical rotation day giving pt care I have to give a suppository. I put the gel on and go to insert it. Well, this poor lady starts ROARING. "It hurts, get it out, get it out!" I didnt take the wrapper off. Thank God she couldn't see my face.."Oh ma'am, I say, you have very bad hemorrhoids". It was a teachable moment.....