Guide to being a lunatic

1. At lunchtime sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Everytime someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4.Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in".

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks, once everyone has gotten over their caffine addiction, switch to espresso
6. In the memo field of your checks write "for sexual favors"

7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance of the prophecy."

8. Don't use punctuation marks.

9. As often as possible skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically when they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go"

12. Sing along at the opera at the top of your lungs.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why they don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play a tape of jungle sounds. Doing the Tarzan call is optional.

15. Five days in advance tell your friends that you cannot attend their party because you are not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.

17. When the money comes out of the ATM scream, "I won! I won!, third time this week."

18. When leaving the zoo start running for the parking lot while screaming "run for your lives they're loose."

19. Tell your children over dinner "Due to the economy, we're going to have to let one of you go."

Hope you got a laugh, I got a kick out of these.