Grandma got run over - page 2
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Dec 26, '17Quote from sevensonnetsIs this a riddle? Can I guess the answer?Why do they make Grandmas WALK home every Christmas?
Grandmas have to walk home every Christmas because...
They're too drunk to drive!
No? How about:
If Grandmas didn't walk home every Christmas, there'd be no reason to write a stupid song!
Well, okay then- my final answer is:
Grandmas have to walk home every Christmas so that nurse on the General Discussion forum wouldn't have to assess her!
Do I win anything?
Dec 27, '17Okay, let me see what I got left in the bag. A HIPPApotamus, coupla loose teeth, a fruitcake circa 1967 (recently reglazed and new green cherries added, and a Canada Goose three quarter length parka with coyote trimmed hood and flap pockets, women's sized S-XXL. Name and claim it.
Dec 27, '17Okay, let me see what I got in the bag. A HIPPApotamus, a coupla loose teeth, a fruitcake circa 1967 (recently reglazed and new cherries applied) and a rheww quarter length Canada Goose parka with coyote-trimmed hood and flap pockets women's sizes S-XXL.
Dec 27, '17Quote from sevensonnetsThey didn't make her... but they should have stopped her...Why do they make Grandmas WALK home every Christmas?
She'd been drinking too much eggnog
And we begged her not to go
But she forgot her medication
And she staggered out the door into the snow
Dec 27, '17Yep, pick it quick and I promise never to post this again. I'm a dunce atthree and a complete failure at editing.
Dec 29, '17True story--
Husband and wife in LTC, both very confused, she had a scooter, he had a wheelchair.
They were sitting together, she decides to motor down the hallway. He reached out to stop her, the cuff of his sleeve caught on the back of the scooter, and he wound up being dragged out of the wheelchair behind the scooter.
Wife was completely oblivious.
Luckily he only had a couple skin tears.
That was NOT a fun incident report to write!
Dec 31, '17Quote from sevensonnetsOoooooh! A couple of loose teeth!Okay, let me see what I got left in the bag. A HIPPApotamus, coupla loose teeth...
Jan 2Quote from sevensonnetsThis brings back memories. My grandmother in Canada used to make them every year for Christmas and mail them to us in Florida. They weighed about as much as a tank, and they had about the same consistency as spackling compound (the stuff that you use to patch holes in your interior walls, for the uninitiated). They went pretty much uneaten every year, because my mother didn't want to tell her mother not to send them....a fruitcake circa 1967 (recently reglazed and new green cherries added...
Jan 13Yes, Grandma's had an incredible round of bad luck every Christmas. You'd think she'd have wised up by now and have the party at her house instead. But that's just me.