Graduate Nurse vs Experienced Nurse

"More Truth Than Humor"

A graduate nurse throws up when the patient does.
An experienced nurse calls housekeeping when a patient throws up.

A graduate nurse wears so many pins on their name
badge you can't read it.
An experienced nurse doesn't wear a name badge for liability reasons.

A graduate nurse charts too much.
An experienced nurse doesn't chart enough.

A graduate nurse loves to run codes.
An experienced nurse makes graduate nurses run to codes.

A graduate nurse wants everyone to know they are a nurse.
An experienced nurse doesn't want anyone to know they are a nurse.

A graduate nurse keeps detailed notes on a pad.
An experienced nurse writes on the back of their hand, paper scraps,
napkins, etc.

A graduate nurse will spend all day trying to reorient a patient.
An experienced nurse will chart the patient is disoriented and restrain
them.

A graduate nurse can hear a beeping I-med at 50 yards.
An experienced nurse can't hear any alarms at any distance.

A graduate nurse loves to hear abnormal heart and breath sounds.
An experienced nurse doesn't even want to hear about them
unless the patient is symptomatic.

A graduate nurse spends 2 hours giving a patient a bath.
An experienced nurse lets the CNA give the patient a bath.

A graduate nurse thinks people respect nurses.
An experienced nurse knows everybody blames everything on the nurse.

A graduate nurse looks for blood on a bandage hoping they will get to
change it.
An experienced nurse knows a little blood never hurt anybody.

A graduate nurse looks for a chance "to work with the family".
An experienced nurse avoids the family.

A graduate nurse expects meds and supplies to be delivered on time.
An experienced nurse expects them to never be delivered at all.

A graduate nurse will spend days bladder training an incontinent patient.
An experienced nurse will insert a Foley catheter.

A graduate nurse always answers their phone.
An experienced nurse checks their caller ID before answering the phone.

A graduate nurse thinks psych patients are interesting.
An experienced nurse thinks psych patients are crazy.

A graduate nurse carries reference books in their bag.
An experienced nurse carries magazines, lunch and some "cough syrup"
in their bag.

A graduate nurse doesn't find this funny.
An experienced nurse does.