1. Birds of a feather flock together and poop on your car.
2. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for
it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles
3. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog
run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
4. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
5. Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
6. A penny saved is a government oversight.
7. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at
right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting
8. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then
your body and your fat are really good friends.
9. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
10. He who hesitates is probably right.
11. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
12. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to
13. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when
really in trouble.
14. Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS"
it spells "THEIRS"?