Funny things you have said but wish you didn't - page 5

A few years ago, I was on the phone with a person from the local lumber company. having in mind to ask if they had any tar paper. But instead, toilet paper slipped out. That remark started the... Read More

  1. by   Rita Marie
    Years ago I was working a floor where we handled lots of cardiac patients, and at that time we posted them on the regular ward (rather than on monitors).

    One fellow I had cared for, I had only seen him lying flat in bed dressed in a hospital gown.

    When he was standing out at the desk checking out with the unit clerk I saw him and was delighted that he was going to be released. I said to him, "It's so nice to see you erect and dressed!" (Stated innocently mind you!)

    He got a funny look on his face and then broke out laughing, along with the unit clerks, to which my prompt response was a deep blush! It still makes me laugh.
  2. by   NDivine
    My childrens father participated in a fishing tournament one weekend and arrived home late one Sunday afternoon.

    Our youngest son who was about seven ( his sister 9 and older brother 14)
    *with excitement in his voice* says," Dad, dad, how did you do?"

    and dad replies. " Awesome....... I am the Master Bater"!!!!!!

    The 14 year old and I got it!!!!! years later explained it to the other two.



    our oldest who is 26 and his siblings still say "Dad is the master Bater!"
  3. by   galenight
    So many instances, so few synapses firing...

    I am (unfortunately) known to insert foot quite often. People at work are usually disappointed if it doesn't happen every month or so.

    My worst one was this: One day a coworker was excited about the arrival of her new grandchild. She said that her son and daughter-in-law were meeting him at the airport. Assuming the child was returning from vacation, I said, "what? is the kid an orphan or something?" To which she replied, "yes". I just wanted to melt into the tile let me tell you.

    Wish I COULD forget that one.

    Just today we were talking about a lab tech who is a boor. Just a wierdo if you know what I mean. So, I'm kinda defending the guy saying, yeah, but he is great at phlebotomy. I said, "he did me once and it was great" Laughs all around!!!

    For years after becoming a nurse I would routinely say Ractated Lingers whenver referring to LR. I frequently do the "spoonerism" thing. They can be pretty amusing and very frustrating. I hope it is a sign of great intelligence and not pre-psychosis... today I said, Help me shake this tirt off, instead of help me take this shirt off....LOL
  4. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from galenight
    So many instances, so few synapses firing...

    I am (unfortunately) known to insert foot quite often. People at work are usually disappointed if it doesn't happen every month or so.

    My worst one was this: One day a coworker was excited about the arrival of her new grandchild. She said that her son and daughter-in-law were meeting him at the airport. Assuming the child was returning from vacation, I said, "what? is the kid an orphan or something?" To which she replied, "yes". I just wanted to melt into the tile let me tell you.

    Wish I COULD forget that one.

    Just today we were talking about a lab tech who is a boor. Just a wierdo if you know what I mean. So, I'm kinda defending the guy saying, yeah, but he is great at phlebotomy. I said, "he did me once and it was great" Laughs all around!!!

    For years after becoming a nurse I would routinely say Ractated Lingers whenver referring to LR. I frequently do the "spoonerism" thing. They can be pretty amusing and very frustrating. I hope it is a sign of great intelligence and not pre-psychosis... today I said, Help me shake this tirt off, instead of help me take this shirt off....LOL
    love it. I sometimes create names for people & things. For example: Straight poopers for state troopers, New Hamster for New Hampshire, You Nork for New York, etc. Hust a fun idiosyncrosy of mine. But it's fun.
  5. by   nightingale
    That post was so funny gale!

    I always laugh when I say the saying that a long time ago friend would say for: You are such a smart fellow, and say "You are such a fart smeller"... lol... it still makes me chuckle.
  6. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from nightngale1998
    That post was so funny gale!

    I always laugh when I say the saying that a long time ago friend would say for: You are such a smart fellow, and say "You are such a fart smeller"... lol... it still makes me chuckle.
    Another one of my favorites too.
  7. by   NICU RN wannaB

    I worked at wal-mart a few years ago and one day i had to answer the phones, well walmart makes you answer like this "hello thank you for calling you (town here) walmart super center this is (your name here) how may i direct your call" however the girl in another department kept calling me and hanging up i guess she thought it was funny One of the times the phone rang i answered "yes Cortney what the hell do u want this time" long story short it wasn't her and the person on the other end was mad untill i explained and then she laughed
  8. by   FranEMTnurse
    Another favorite is Mass-ah-two-***** for Massachusetts
  9. by   rica75
    Using wrong words instead of correct ones......
    "Yes, I would like a Dr.Pecker to drink."

    I don't know if Fudrucker's is a chain or not, but is a very tasty hamberger joint, but I'm sure you already figured out "Rudf****r's"

    Kentucky Fried Chicken is the same situation. When I was about 16 I said it wrong, my mom almost killed me!
  10. by   minnielynn
    I remember when I was a receptionist I had to mute the phone to ask my supervisor a question. Well I took long to get back to the client and I noticed that the client had hung up. So I said oh well forget it , and I hung up. Well stupid me , I forgot to unmute the phone. The phone rang and I said (the comp name) may I help you? the client on the other line would respond and when I would respond she/he wouldn't hear me. I was like "what the heck"!!!!! and I kept hanging up on the clients , call and call again!!! after about 5 calls did I realize I was muted!!!!! I stood quiet and never said a word

    Then I had a private laugh
  11. by   nursemouse
    These are great! Here's mine: I'd placed an elderly male patient on the bedpan with instructions to put on the call light when he'd completed his business. I was at the station when I saw his light go off. Bypassing the usual "How may I help you?" route, I answered the light directly with "Are you ready to get off?" I didn't even realize the implications of what I'd said until my colleagues, after initially looking startled, burst out laughing. Fortunately, so did the patient. :uhoh21:
  12. by   FranEMTnurse
    :chuckle :chuckle Har! Here's my most recent one. I belong to a private group for women, and I'm one of the supervisors. Well, the head supervisor decided I should start a forum on survivors of abuse. I couldn't figure the thing out no matter what, But I finally had a brainstorm. After that, I logged into my email account where there were 6 new announcements about the new forum, and an additional 6 announcements about the book I placed there.
    After I deleted them, I wrote a message to the group asking if they felt they were adequately notified.
    Last edit by FranEMTnurse on Jun 11, '04
  13. by   suzy253
    Egads! so many...but these posts are great.

    One very recently--in my micro lab class we were taking specimens of things with sterile swabs and one of the things we had to check for was for strep by doing a throat culture. I was the victim. My lab partner approached me with the swab and before I opened up I asked the professor 'how much of him should I take before I gag'. OOPS. Luckily my male labpartner is a very very good friend and he expects stupid statements from me like this. :chuckle

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