Funny things you have said but wish you didn't

When I was in high school I was working as a nurse's aid at our small town hospital. It was my job to go around and get everyone's vital signs and chart them. I walked inot one gentleman's room, said "Good Morning! I'm just here to grab your vitals" Wife was sitting at bedside and started laughing hysterically then she said " why don't you leave that to me honey!" I about died!


Then there was the time I was training a new nurse to our pediatric unit -- she had to call the doctor's office to set up a follow up visit for a patient in a couple of weeks post discharge as well as get some orders for some scripts to send home w/ pt. She got the doc on the phone, got the scripts and then said, and "when would you like the patient to f/u?" DEAD SILENCE at the nurses station AND the doctor's office -- it had to have been a full 10 seconds before she realized what she had said and then she quickly said " I mean of course, follow up with an office visit -- with you -- then she giggled and said the chart just has the letters F & U -- sorry!" At that point we were all cracking up and (thank goodness) so was the Doc. Took a LOOONG time for her to get over that one!!

We were visiting a good friend of ours, a pastor, who came down with alll the S/S of a terrible head cold on Saturday night. He decided to "medicate" himself with a dose of Nyquil and preach his Sunday morning sermon anyway. AT the appropriate time, he stood up, looked out at the congregation and said. "Everyone please turn in your bibles to First Glasses while I reach in my pocket and pull out my peter." I about fell out of the pew laughing. The service was over before it really got started.