Funny things you have said but wish you didn't - page 22

A few years ago, I was on the phone with a person from the local lumber company. having in mind to ask if they had any tar paper. But instead, toilet paper slipped out. That remark started the... Read More

  1. by   JaredCNA
    I wish I never would have had the retarded idea to ask POD #1 total knee and hip patients, "Are you doing alright tonight?" as I walked in the room during first rounds at 2300, because now I am in the habit of saying it even though they just look at me like I'm stupid.

    Lol.
  2. by   lpnstudentin2010
    After my enucleation of my right eye last year I went to my follow up visit, this came out of the tech who checks visions mouth, "Do you have any light perception left in the right eye?"
  3. by   FranEMTnurse
    My know it all son was working with h.oo.and bcan last summer. Mct. was having problems with his ears bothering him, so he asked H.oo. if maybe his ears hurt because his fallopian tubes were blocked. H.oo. and Bcan stopped what they were doing and both looked at Mct.. H.oo. and Mct. to repeat what he had just said. So, Mct. asked the question over again, and asked his dad if he thought that maybe Mct.o ears were hurting because his fallopian tubes were blocked. After H.oo. and Bcan stopped laughing hysterically H.oo. had to explain to Mct. that he doesn't have blocked fallopian tubes, and if he has them in his ear then there was a problem and we had to get him to the doctor right away.:chuckle:clphnds::rckn::hehe:
  4. by   Ehope
    These are great!

    In my office we use a computer system with the unfortunate acronym of WANG that crashes and freezes at least once a day.

    One day I hear my very straight-laced older male co-worker yell to the guy sitting in the cubicle across from him: "Hey Stan, is your WANG up? I can't seem to get mine going."

    I thought I was gonna die laughing.
  5. by   Poochee
    During a CVS drug store visit, I was looking for the old school douche's, not the nice pre-made massengil. I mean the old big red water bag douches.
    So I look everywhere, can't find it. I start looking around the store to see, if I can find someone who works there to help me.
    I don't see any women, I see an older man he seems really busy, and I see a teenager working, so I really don't want to go up to either one, but opt for the teenager, and ask him,
    "Which isle are the douche's "?
    He looks at me really weird:uhoh21:, mind you I am already embarrassed, and ask's,
    "What is that, some sort of candy"? I couldn't help but laugh out loud, his face was so perplexed, and then imagine how I feel.
    I have to stand thier and explain what a douche is.
    He then gets it, after a long description, and leads me to the isle.
    Surprise, they did not even have the old big red bags.:icon_roll
  6. by   Poochee
    I'll never forget, and I always laugh, when I think back, to my brother, when he was really little asked, us all, with genuine interest,
    "Have you ever seen a dog, tied to a donut??"
  7. by   Mannursemike
    Being the brilliant student nurse that i am, i recently asked a man with an ostomy "when was your last bowel movement?"

    He looked at me like 'you gotta be kidding me'! He then replied, "before my surgery"
  8. by   UM Review RN
    I got one elderly male patient all cleaned up and changed the bedding and I was about to put the gown on him when he announced, "I don't want to wear anything. I want to be naked."

    "Fine," I replied. I grabbed a hand towel and meant to say, "This will help prevent any problems," because he was incontinent, but what came out was, "Here, this will cover up your little problem" and tossed it atop his privates.

    Behind the curtain, the other patient guffawed, and my patient protested, "Little problem?"

    Backpedalling, I said, "No, I didn't mean 'little' as in you, I meant... " Both guys were whooping with laughter by now, and thoroughly enjoying my embarrassment, "Oh fer pete's sake, you know what I meant."

    The second patient stopped laughing long enough to comment, "Thanks, that was better than a comedy show."
  9. by   grace90
    Quote from Mannursemike
    Being the brilliant student nurse that i am, i recently asked a man with an ostomy "when was your last bowel movement?"

    He looked at me like 'you gotta be kidding me'! He then replied, "before my surgery"
    I did that with a patient on POD#2, after having an emergency colostomy.
  10. by   peridotgirl
    what does POD mean?
  11. by   UM Review RN
    Quote from peridotgirl
    what does POD mean?
    Post-op day.
  12. by   squeakykitty
    One time in high school my friend said "Oh" followed by the F-word. I wasn't listening and thought she was telling me to "Hurry up!".

    I answered her with "I am, I am!!"

    It took me quite a while to live that one down.
  13. by   squeakykitty
    Quote from Ehope
    These are great!

    In my office we use a computer system with the unfortunate acronym of WANG that crashes and freezes at least once a day.

    One day I hear my very straight-laced older male co-worker yell to the guy sitting in the cubicle across from him: "Hey Stan, is your WANG up? I can't seem to get mine going."

    I thought I was gonna die laughing.
    :lghmky:I don't think this guy will ever live this down.

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