Funny things you have said but wish you didn't - page 2

A few years ago, I was on the phone with a person from the local lumber company. having in mind to ask if they had any tar paper. But instead, toilet paper slipped out. That remark started the... Read More

  1. by   FROGGYLEGS
    Quote from Rapheal
    My McDonalds story. I was waiting in the drive thru a very long time. Had my neices in the car with me. I was trying to be in a pleasant mood and when we pulled up to get our food I said " A little short handed today?" The man at the window just looked at me without responding. He starts to hand me our food. He has a deformity where both his arms basically in stubs. I was mortified.

    Dead silence in the car as we pull out. My neice says "Good going Auntie". The other neices break out in laughter. I will never forget it.
    oooh....yikes.
  2. by   FROGGYLEGS
    Okay I've got one more.

    I sort of have a habit of calling people I don't know personally by their first and last names if I mention them in conversation. The few people that I meet that consistently act like jerks are always referred to by first and last name. I suppose that is because I don't get on a personal level with them.

    One of my nursing school instructors fell into that category. By the time we graduated some students were calling her by her first name, but I never did. She led the next class through clinicals at my first job. While she was sitting nearby someone asked me why I always said both names and I told them why I thought I did.

    It didn't occur to me until afterward that my instructor knew I referred to her by both names. I could have died because I basically told her that I never liked her.
  3. by   Star Trek Nerd
    -I used to work at Taco Bell after high school, and one day a gentleman in a wheelchair was trying to use the walk-up window (only used after dark). He couldn't get to it to the window because the curb was too high and the sloped sidewalk was blocked by our delivery truck. Without thinking (and also without realizing the window was wide open so the whole world could hear) I eventually asked my co-workers, "He looks young and strong. Why doesn't he just get up and walk?" Unfortunately, I realized after that he had no legs. Oops.

    -Just last week I was helping a lady with her hotel reservation, and she mentioned she worked for Disney Studios. Like many others who have worked for Disney, I can't stand the Mouse House so I asked her if she was as happy as I was that Michael Eisner got the big boot from the Disney stockholders. She stared at me in disbelief and then stalked off. Turns out she is one of Eisner's personal assistants. Insert foot in mouth. :imbar
  4. by   HyperRNRachel
    During my first clinical I had to feed a blind man. Nervously I lifted the cover off his trayand told him..." HMMMM it LOOKS good" I felt really stupid, especially when he said, " I wish I knew it looked good." He was laughing about it, but I felt really really bad.
  5. by   Farkinott
    There once was a nurse (could it have been me?!) who asked a blind man with a chest infection what colour his sputum was!
  6. by   RNtoJD
    LOLOLOL!!!That is great. Look at the bright side... he also couldn't see what size foot you had just put in your mouth!!...

    I once worked for an oral surgeon who is a great guy, but unfortunately didn't have much in the way of social skills, but had a sometimes pompous way of telling everyone who worked for him that they should always conduct themselves in a professional manner in front of the patients. We had seated a paraplegic in the examining room for a consult. When "Dr. Etiquette" strolled into the room (right past the wheelchair that was outside the room--evidently oblivious to it), he extended his hand for a handshake and as the patient leaned toward him to shake hands he said,"Don't get up."... The patient just saidm "Don't worry."
    We had a lot of fun with that one....
  7. by   2ndgenerationnurse
    i embarass my kids quite often... in fact they have a little book of inside family jokes, most of them are quotes of stupid things mom has said...

    here is just one such event.... remember when taco bell was giving those little dogs with purchase, the ones who talk... well i was ordering in the drive thru and asked ofr one of those dogs... the guy said, " which one would you like?" i said, "I think I love you!" my kids were rolling:roll and i still had to pick up my order! :imbar
  8. by   ?burntout
    when i was in 4th grade, each of us had to stand in front of the class and give an oral book report. my book was snow white and the seven dwarfs. it came my turn and i stand up and i say, "the title of my book is snow white and the seven drawers (as in underware!!!) the whole entire class started laughing at me!! i was so :imbar i went on to give my report, but no one would ever let me forget it..... and the bad thing is, this year is supposed to be our 10th year high school reunion...i think i will stay at home!!
  9. by   Farkinott
    Quote from RNtoJD
    LOLOLOL!!!That is great. Look at the bright side... he also couldn't see what size foot you had just put in your mouth!!...

    I once worked for an oral surgeon who is a great guy, but unfortunately didn't have much in the way of social skills, but had a sometimes pompous way of telling everyone who worked for him that they should always conduct themselves in a professional manner in front of the patients. We had seated a paraplegic in the examining room for a consult. When "Dr. Etiquette" strolled into the room (right past the wheelchair that was outside the room--evidently oblivious to it), he extended his hand for a handshake and as the patient leaned toward him to shake hands he said,"Don't get up."... The patient just saidm "Don't worry."
    We had a lot of fun with that one....
    obvious wa*ker!
  10. by   redshiloh
    I used to be a waitress at a Denny's Restaurant. I remember waiting on a customer so politely "Hi, how are you sir." "What would you like to order sir?" 'Sir' looked at me coldly and said, " Well first, you can call me M'am!" Possibly the most embarassing moment in my life (so far)
  11. by   2ndgenerationnurse
    don't ever ask a woman when her baby is due unless she has told you she is pregnant first!:imbar nuff said!
  12. by   Farkinott
    I once worked in a nursing home and one of my colleagues was congratulating oneof the relatives saying "It is so nice to see how much you care for you mother by coming every day and feeding her lunch" he said " Mother? She's my wife!"
    Nuff said!

    NEVER assume the relationship is what it seems!
  13. by   nightingale
    Recently, while working a shift in LTC, a resident asked me to guess her age. Well... Honestly, she looked 90 and had the personality of an angel. She bubbled around the facility in a walker with her rotund body.

    I, in my "wisdom" replyed quickly "75"! Her face dropped, she told me she was 69 and soon to be 70 :imbar !!!

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