Funny things that pts say

I was about 8 months pregnant and working on the floor. Had to squeeze (very difficult at this point) past the first bed (it was an odd-shaped room that created a bottleneck) to get to my patient in the second bed. He looked at me and said "You're fat!" After deciding whether to laugh or get offended I smiled and said brightly "Not for much longer!" After I explained myself we both had a good laugh.

I thought that when a nurse is pregnant that she is advised not to work. I mean, how could you do the things a nurse does when you are pregnant? please explain.

A coworker of mine has an uncle in the VA hospital. The nurses had to restrain him last nite, because he wouldn't leave his O2 on and his sats were really low. He also kept trying to get up..can't remember he can't walk. When his daughter arrived for a visit this am, he told her in that loud I can't hear anymore voice, "honey, they've tied down everything but my dick!"