Funny things patients say ! - page 20

While working in the emergency room I was taking care of a 90 year old lady who came in by wheelchair from a local rest home. Her complaint was right leg swelling and we found an obvious deformity of... Read More

  1. by   liveyourlife747
    I had a pt family ask me "what was the doctor saying about her dimensions?" lol I had to keep from laughing because the doctor has said things about dementia and this poor lady couldn't stop saying dimensions. It was too funny.
  2. by   GitanoRN
    A mother comes in with her son to ED, and tells me at triage the following, as I perform the VS on her son.
    mother= “I tried to detard him" (mother notices the baffled expression on my face and states) "That’s when you un-tard a retard, Needless to say, I failed.”
    ...Aloha~
  3. by   Christy1019
    Quote from GitanoRN
    A mother comes in with her son to ED, and tells me at triage the following, as I perform the VS on her son.
    mother= “I tried to detard him" (mother notices the baffled expression on my face and states) "That’s when you un-tard a retard, Needless to say, I failed.” ...Aloha~

    Omg lol that's awful, but hilarious!
    Obviously the mom's parents were also unsuccessful lmao
  4. by   GitanoRN
    Quote from Christy1019
    Omg lol that's awful, but hilarious!
    Obviously the mom's parents were also unsuccessful lmao
    LMAO
  5. by   Pnkmdgt
    too funny.... lmbo!
  6. by   Pnkmdgt
    lmbo! toooo funny
  7. by   kreed
    Quote from JeneraterRN
    When I was training to be an RN, I was cleaning up a suprapubic cath site on a quadrapalegic w/spastic muscle paralysis. He had some arm and leg movement, so apparently I was tickling him during the process. When I asked him to hold still, he told me, "OK, I'll pretend to be a quadrapalegic." Open mouth, insert Italian shoe store.
    OMG....I take care of 2 quads. I just lol'd till I cried!!!!
  8. by   samatthe
    Hysterical! Just had to share it with my nurse-buddies!
  9. by   GinaCat
    AOx3, walkie-talkie: "you know that suppository they gave me before? If I put my finger in there, I can still feel it."
  10. by   GitanoRN
    LOL..... ...Aloha~
  11. by   <3 RN
    I feel so guilty for laughing, but I took care of a patient that told me his hemorrhoids "really popped out" when he strained, so he had to just let the stool "flow out of him". So I go to give him a suppository about an hour later and realized that he had a prolapsed rectal mucosa. Poor guy mistook that for hemorrhoids. So all those times that his hemorrhoids were "really popping out", it was his rectum trying to escape his body. When I explain to him what was happening, his eyes light up and he says, "Cool! I can poop out part of my body!"
  12. by   treybaby2005
    I recieved a patient with a headbleed with underlying dementia and asked him the typical questions for his GCS.
    He answered the year and date then, I asked,
    Me:Who is the president of the United States?
    Patientlooks around) Me? Well I guess its me.
  13. by   GitanoRN
    Quote from <3 RN
    I feel so guilty for laughing, but I took care of a patient that told me his hemorrhoids "really popped out" when he strained, so he had to just let the stool "flow out of him". So I go to give him a suppository about an hour later and realized that he had a prolapsed rectal mucosa. Poor guy mistook that for hemorrhoids. So all those times that his hemorrhoids were "really popping out", it was his rectum trying to escape his body. When I explain to him what was happening, his eyes light up and he says, "Cool! I can poop out part of my body!"
    Alrighty then...

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Funny things patients say !