Funny things patients say ! - page 19

While working in the emergency room I was taking care of a 90 year old lady who came in by wheelchair from a local rest home. Her complaint was right leg swelling and we found an obvious deformity of... Read More

  1. by   Calabria
    I work in OB/GYN/nursery.

    I'm often asked when we're going to perform their baby boy's "circumstance" or "Cesarean" (meaning circumcision).
  2. by   GitanoRN
    the one that get's me is when they say "i came to the er to get a shot for my nerves, and a refill on my viagra"
  3. by   hazRN
    I don't know how to react with this one LOL
  4. by   JennabeanRN
    Back when I was a nursing assistant, another assistant and I had to insert a Foley. After we are finished, the LOL states "I don't know what ya'll just did but that sure felt good"!
  5. by   R!XTER
    "I have an enlarged Prostrate." Gotta love the old guys!
  6. by   GitanoRN
    another one that comes to mind is the one where a nurse i use to work with was trying to explain to her patient the new medications ordered by his pcp. and so it goes....

    nurse = "mr.xxx your doctor wants you to take a 20mg. of pepcid with your meals, for your heartburn ok".

    pt.= "okay that's all good when said and done, but what i don't understand why not coca-cola instead of pepsi?" :uhoh21:
  7. by   orthonurse55
    I was in the dining room at our LTCF and all of a sudden heard an elderly woman yelling. I turned and looked and she was waving her menu in the air screaming " Son of a *****, is that all I get paid for all the work I did?" I almost died laughing. Then she started crying like a baby. It was sad at that point, but have to admit we've all felt this way at times!
  8. by   funnygirl1
    I was taking care of a blind patient who had Alzheimers. When I attempted to give him his medicine, he grabbed my arm and started gumming my upper arm saying "Oh Honey, give me a bite of that pork loin!" It took 3 nurses to pull my so called "pork loin" from his mouth!
  9. by   GitanoRN
    patient: nurse, may i have a glass of water.


    nurse: are you thirsty?


    patient: no… i just wanted to check whether my throat leaks :uhoh21:
  10. by   SaoirseRN
    One of the departments where I work has recently been renamed from "overflow 2" to a more permanent "first floor inpatient unit". I have had more than one person say "first floor impotent unit"
  11. by   Lynx25
    I was attempting to give someone their insulin. When I walked in the room, the woman rips off her covers, pokes her rear in the air, and screams "DO IT TO ME BABY!!1!"

  12. by   JennabeanRN
    Pt told me yesterday that she was just in last month getting an autopsy!! (biopsy)
  13. by   BetterThanFiction
    Trying to tell a confused, older patient I was turning him and he said, "that's not why you're in here."
    I stopped and asked him what he thought I was in room for. He said, "you girls are partying out there and you want me to party, too. But I don't do drugs."
    Hah...

    Sent from my iPhone

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Funny things patients say !