Working geropsych, we had a pt who would hallucinate that Marilyn Monroe was sitting next to him and whispering in his ear. After several days of this, finally figured out that it happened when his blood sugar dropped to the teens (he was otherwise asymptomatic, which was scary.) We fixed him, and he blamed us all for killing his "goddess".
Had an OLD lady who was hallucinating dalmation puppies all up and down the hallway. I went to let someone in the door to the unit (locked ward, obviusly), and she started screaming bloody murder b/c I was stepping on the puppies. There were apparently so many of them that no matter where I put my foot down, one was there. Boy she hated me for about ten minutes...till she forgot about it.
Had a nun on hospice on the tele floor who would sit in her doorway and yell "Where's the Carpenter?" We all kinda assumed she meant she was waiting for Jesus to come get her...
Gave a 90-something pt a busy apron to play with so she'd leave her IV and Foley alone. She looked at me with disgust and said "This is for babies. I'm at least 50. Right?" Well, yeah, that and then some!
Had a 96 year old woman tell me, after I got checking her to see if she was wet, "Honey, you wanna see that kinda thing go work on the East Side (where all the strip clubs are). You'll make more money than you do now, I know." I was afraid to ask just how she knew!
Along similar lines... Had a pt who was a former Playboy bunny and had gotten breast implants eons ago, which were like two large immovable rocks jutting out of her chest all these decades later. She would accost every doc who walked into the room..."If I ever find out you're the one that ruined my boobs, I'm suing you."