Funniest/strangest dementia patient stories

Nurses Humor

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I'm sure we all have them, especially those of us who have worked in LTC. Here are some of mine:

  • climbing into other residents' beds and taking a nap...one time we found the resident sleeping in a bed that was already occupied by the resident it belonged to--they were both sleeping in there!!
  • putting pajamas in the toilet, then having an extra-large BM right on top of them
  • taking a cup that had some medication mixed in juice, then turning to the person sitting next to her and saying "here, you can have this"--fortunately I was able to take it back before the other resident could get a hold of it
  • wandering around in the hall and grabbing people's butts
  • blowing nose into a tissue, then using same tissue to "clean" nurse's station counter :barf02:

What other funny/crazy things have you guys seen dementia patients do?

Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.

We had floor-to-ceiling windows that faced the state highway on our gero-psych unit (HUGE architectural mistake- but I'm getting ahead of myself). ANYWAY - local company donated a gigantic artificial Christmas tree which took up the whole window. It was really pretty.

Started getting calls one night about a 'woman in the window'. Yep, a patient was buck nekkid, smashed between the tree and the window entertaining the passers-by.

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Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
Yeah, so do I since my Mom has Alzheimers. These are your patients but it's a lot different if your loved one suffers from the disease. My laughter when she does these strange things is because if I didn't I would be spending my time crying.[/quote)

I don't know of any other way you could cope--I'm sending a hug your way. A dear friend of mine lost her mom to the disease-she said it was like 15 year wake.

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Was bending over the patient to do something so my face was pretty close to the patient's, and he said, "You look like Adolf Hitler from here" I'm a 23 year old Italian female, so don't think I do, but joked to my coworkers that I must have let my lip fuzz get a little out of control. :p This is one of the only things I heard this man say...

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This story is not mine, but a friend told it to me, My friend is Alejandro, he has a deep voice.

He works on a medsurg floor at the hospital down the road. Alejandro is a little bit crazy, as is the unit he works on.

He had a demented patient who kept ringing the call bell. Alejandro used the phone to answer it and asked, "Hello, what do you need?"

The confused patient replied, "Jesus is that you?" To this, alejandro replied "Yes it's me, now go to sleep"

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This one is from me,

I had a patient who would get confused at night. She was an older black woman with a very softspoken voice

One night she rang her callbell, I entered the room and she is staring straight ahead. She says (very softly), "Where am I, what time is it? (Then looks straight at me and yells) , "AND WHO THE DICKENS ARE YOU!"

Me, "Im Dickens!"

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Specializes in Peds.

I have some funny stories from when I used to work on telemetry:

I had one pt who needed assistance to the BSC because he was unsteady. He was too embarrassed and wanted the CNA and me to turn around and not look. We told him we had to make sure he didn't fall. When he finished having a BM we handed him a washcloth to wipe. After he wiped, he wasn't sure what to do with it, and before we could get it he threw it across the room to make the trash can... the poop rag went right by my face, and missed the trash can.

A dementia pt of mine had an NG tube and CVC, so the Dr. ordered 4 point restraints and mitts. I continually checked on him and had to refasten his restraints to make sure he didn't pull any tubes out. I had just re-adjusted everything, left the room to attend to another patient, and when I came back shortly, the NG tube was out and the feeding was dripping onto the sheets... I couldn't figure out at first how this happened... He had managed to scoot down in bed (to give the wrist restraints more slack), and then used his knees to pull off his mittens, then pulled out the NG tube. Thank goodness he didn't touch the CVC!!

My co-worker had a pt with a high K+ level, so the doctor ordered Kayexelate. The patient had diarrhea already, and had a Bard Bag in place for that. My coworker walked into the pts room, and the patient started to stand up. She said "Noooo stop! Sit back down" but it was too late. The Bard Bag became separated from the tube... So basically the patient had a tube hanging from her orifice... the patient started turning around fast to see what was behind her, and the tube basically acted like a diarrhea sprinkler and poo splattered all around the room.

I have many more!

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Specializes in Emergency.

On my first job on a tele unit, I had a 90ish LOL who asked me to scratch her lady parts for her...I had no Idea what to say...

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I had pt with g-tube who somnvitedo iut whe how got off unit glad i wasnt working that day !!!!!:facepalm: but invited some of the other residence to bar when staff showed up they were all drunk pt on bar waving her depends

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Specializes in Med-Surg.
I had pt with g-tube who somnvitedo iut whe how got off unit glad i wasnt working that day !!!!!:facepalm: but invited some of the other residence to bar when staff showed up they were all drunk pt on bar waving her depends

Um, can I buy a vowel?

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Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.

"somnvitedo iut whe" That sounds like dirty fun....

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Specializes in Oncology, Med-Surg.

had an elderly guy come up to me and hand me what must have been the world's record for the largest turd and said "here honey, you must know where this goes."

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While d/c ing a foley...Had the sweetest little old guy say quite sincerely, "You seem like a nice enough whore, but I don't have any money to pay you."

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