Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

Here was a weird episode with a poor sot 3 sheets to the wind.....


Several years while I was working, this slightly (ok...really trashed) patient comes into my ICU. Now the admission assessment form asks if the patient is an organ donor (not the brightest question to ask a patient on assessment I think, but they put it on the form.....). The poor drunk didn't know what an organ donor was, so I explained to him what organ donation meant, and that it was intended for AFTER death should he wish it. He then replied that he was NOT an organ donor. About an hour or so later, there is all this noise coming from his room.....he was pulling his monitor wires off, IV out, climbing out of bed yelling "PLEASE KILL ME BEFORE YOU CUT MY HEART OUT!!!!!" I swear this actually happened. Well after I finished laughing myself silly, I went and reassured the poor scared to death patient that we were not going to cut his heart out or kill him. Go figure....

Some people who get migraines get relief from caffeine, so coffee enemas may also be given to people with severe migraines when they can't keep down p.o. meds. I think the migraine drug Cafergot used to come in oral or suppository form for this purpose.

I suppose a coffee suppository could also be used if pt (or nurse) is too tired to lift a cup!

--Emma "not too hot, please, and hold the cream" Peel

'Ice to balls continuous' for a trauma patient. The attending gave his residents hell for it one morning during rounds, 'Who wrote that order? That is so unprofessional, I never want to see an order like that again!' when it was the attending that wrote it.