Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

betadine douche q hs, with no stop date, and unfortunately this md signed the monthly orders without a d/c to this order, and the staff, had been doing this douche for one year, i took over as rn nurse manager and discovered this order and the fact that of course this woman had lost her normal flora and was left with this horrible smelling green drainage. i arranged transport right to this md's office and made him do a vag culture and let him smell what we dealt with, also told him he better d/c that order, and never trusted his monthly orders again, i found same and similiar mistakes on his just signing his name fast on rounds to the nursing home. not funny but it happened.

My favorite is the "cleanse wound with NS, apply ABO with dry dressing, change qd til healed????????? where is the wound? I have heard of the molasses enema and the HHH enema , but never the coffee one. deb

Oh how I do love this thread , between this one and the ER funnies Im about to go incontient.
Love this and Desperately needed the Laugh.
Zoe

I once had a doctor whose girlfriend was in the hospital and she wanted her hair to be colored so he wrote the order to apply Loreal to pt hair per instructions on the box. ......YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING.
I told him that it was outside of my scope of practice, I did not learn how to do that in nursing school.

In a code situation, one of our new residents declared the patient to be in "Pulseless Winkebach"!??

PS. The coffee enemas are "supposed" to cure cancer.

That is right up there with Suzanne Somers' using injections of a mistletoe derivative because it is "natural"

(quote)....That is right up there with Suzanne Somers' using injections of a mistletoe derivative because it is "natural"

Yeah. So is cyanide!



__________________

Kiss my --- v.o. dr --------

oh dear!!!! well did you follow that order 911fltrn?

still on the etoh subject...
Here was a weird episode with a poor sot 3 sheets to the wind.....


Several years while I was working, this slightly (ok...really trashed) patient comes into my ICU. Now the admission assessment form asks if the patient is an organ donor (not the brightest question to ask a patient on assessment I think, but they put it on the form.....). The poor drunk didn't know what an organ donor was, so I explained to him what organ donation meant, and that it was intended for AFTER death should he wish it. He then replied that he was NOT an organ donor. About an hour or so later, there is all this noise coming from his room.....he was pulling his monitor wires off, IV out, climbing out of bed yelling "PLEASE KILL ME BEFORE YOU CUT MY HEART OUT!!!!!" I swear this actually happened. Well after I finished laughing myself silly, I went and reassured the poor scared to death patient that we were not going to cut his heart out or kill him. Go figure....


__________________
Cheer up they said, things could always be worse, so we cheered up...and things got worse....lol..sounds like the local ED





LOL Once when I was working an outpatient surgery unit a little ole lady came in for a procedure and I launched into the required organ donor speal. She sat straight up in bed and announced "NO mam, I'm not through using them yet!" I tried to explzin wwe didn't want them right then but she dressed and left the hospital quickly. All the way whe kept muttering "I ain't through using them Yet." ROFLMAO