Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart? - page 56

To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply Darwin Consult and was signed by the... Read More

  1. by   Vikingkitten
    Some of my favorites:

    HSLT- High Speed Lead Therapy.
    TSTL-Too Stupid to Live.
    FTI- Failure to Impress.
    CCFCP- Coo Coo For Cocoa Puffs (psych. diagnosis)
    FDGB- Fell Down, Go Boom!
    CTD- Circling the Drain.
    DBI- Dirt Bag Index (= Tooth to Tatoo ratio) 1 to 10, 10 being the worst.
    AGAC- Ain't got a Clue.
    and one of my favorites: CODS- Cause of Death, Stupidity.

    All the above have appeared in military health charts I've seen.
    Just my $.02
  2. by   stressednurse70
    Honest to God order: " Big Mac Attack" The doctor who wrote this actually expected one of us to leave the hospital, go down the block to the McD's and get the patient a Bic Mac!! We looked at the dr and suggested that since he can come and go from the hospital that he should go get the patient the hamburger. (Plus he expected us to pay for it!) I don't think so!!

    This same doctor also once wrote an order for "ABD xray R/O FOS". The unit secretary didn't know FOS meant full of sh*t and put in the computer for radiology just that way. We all got a good laugh at that one.
  3. by   JWaldron
    Quote from Vikingkitten
    Some of my favorites:

    HSLT- High Speed Lead Therapy.
    TSTL-Too Stupid to Live.
    FTI- Failure to Impress.
    CCFCP- Coo Coo For Cocoa Puffs (psych. diagnosis)
    FDGB- Fell Down, Go Boom!
    CTD- Circling the Drain.
    DBI- Dirt Bag Index (= Tooth to Tatoo ratio) 1 to 10, 10 being the worst.
    AGAC- Ain't got a Clue.
    and one of my favorites: CODS- Cause of Death, Stupidity.

    All the above have appeared in military health charts I've seen.
    Just my $.02
    I just love these! I have a few to add myself

    DSS - Dying Swan Syndrome
    SAS - Subacute Stupidity Syndrome - usually results in CODS


    Savvy
  4. by   *LadyNurse*
    1 Bud Light down peg q6 hours.
  5. by   ElvishDNP
    Antepartum in with hyperemesis at 5-6 weeks. Resident writes order for fetal heart tones q shift.

    Uh, I don't think so....
  6. by   86toronado
    we have pa who likes to sneak sarcastic comments into discharge summaries, etc. my personal favorites:

    activity restrictions: stay away from the stool. no stools whatsoever! (discharge summary for a patient with a subdural hematoma from falling off of a barstool)

    fall risk precautions: patient has no leg to stand on! (on a bilateral leg amputee)

    and my absolute favorite:

    daily weights. no, seriously, weigh the patient every single day.
    Last edit by 86toronado on Oct 19, '10
  7. by   JWaldron
    Quote from HollyHobby
    "Puree bacon and put down NG tube."
    From a cardiologist!

    We have a nurse on our unit who collects funny orders, errors in dictation, or anything else that gets messed up when written and/or put into the computer by the unit clerk. Whenever we come across something hilarious, we put a copy in her mailbox. A few good ones:

    "CT of Elvis, STAT". Instead of "CT of pelvis". (Sorry, but Elvis has left the building.)

    We had one doc who always dictated a very thorough H&P, including details about the patient's sexual history, pets in the home, etc. I came across this one, which implied something the doc surely didn't mean:
    "Pt has had 12 sexual partners, one dog."

    My personal favorite: "Propofol drip, titrate for seduction." (Instead of sedation.)
    She might have enjoyed one of my favorites. Not an order, but a RHB admitting dx: 'Baloney amputation'!

    Savvy
  8. by   PatricksRNMommy
    "Help the patient to poop" (yes he really wrote POOP in the chart lol)

    And this was not an order, but something written in the MD progress notes in the chart of a patient who had been having very high blood pressures (think 220's/110's) that nursing was calling the doc about frequently (that he had been refusing to treat):
    "Will order Clonidine prn to treat the patient and nurses."
  9. by   Brauer
    "Activity" order for a 6 month old post-op patient, "please ambulate TID"
  10. by   eleectrosaurus
    Quote from JWaldron
    I just love these! I have a few to add myself

    DSS - Dying Swan Syndrome
    SAS - Subacute Stupidity Syndrome - usually results in CODS


    Savvy
    RATTWABBB - Rat A Tat Tat With A BaseBall Bat!
  11. by   RevolutioN2013
    Quote from JWaldron
    I just love these! I have a few to add myself

    DSS - Dying Swan Syndrome
    SAS - Subacute Stupidity Syndrome - usually results in CODS


    Savvy
    God love the military...no need to worry about lawyers looking over your charts LOL
  12. by   ohmeowzer RN
    ducolox suppository,, place one in each nostril....
  13. by   jen80rn
    Critical Care resident on a 56 yo pneumonia pt w/ NO other problems/history....NS @ 1300cc/hr. When asked *** he ment he replied " I think he go in rhabdo soon. need to flush the kidneys.

    later that night .... same pt he orders DNR. The primary nurse asks resident " is he a DNR?" Resident replies "I have no clue."

    as scary as that is sometimes his stupidity is great for the nurses, such as the night he ordered " sedation as per nursing staff"

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