Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart? - page 44

To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply Darwin Consult and was signed by the... Read More

  1. by   rph3664
    Some cancer patients use coffee enemas as part of "alternative" therapy.

    If nothing else, it gives them the illusion that they're doing something about their disease.
  2. by   lpnstudentin2010
    thanks both of you
  3. by   NurseRoRo
    <HR style="COLOR: #e4e6eb" SIZE=1> <!-- / icon and title --><!-- message -->
    A new grad was working with us on nightshift and wasn't aware that one of our docs is, uh, high maintenance. He gave the nurse some telephone orders and asked that she page him at 4:30am for his wake up call.

    Yup. The order went on to read, "Call MD at 4:30am to wake him up."
  4. by   imanedrn
    Quote from Kthale81
    I completely agree! I have seen a few patients in the last two or so months that could have used alcohol but nothing would be done to help these patients who drink regularly.
    Always ask for a benzo!
  5. by   Jessiedog
    Quote from NS_RN
    Roll head of bed up when feeding patient.

    I have seen this 3 (yes 3!!!) times in my 12 years on routine admission orders for general med patients. I don't find it quite so funny anymore.Grrrrr.

    One of our speech therapists took his job veeeeryyyy seriously, and got all the nurses off-side very quickly. In order to have pureed food and thickened fluids for our stroke patients, they needed an assessment from speech. He would come in, assess them, and then write instructions in the history and in the chart. In point form he would list instructions for feeding a very dense CVA with swallowing difficulties, underlining that the patient needed to be sitting upright, that only puree/thickened foods were to be used, and that we were to make sure the mouth was totally cleared before putting in the next spoonful.

    Hmmmm..... After nursing for 10 years I thought it was a good idea to feed these people while laying down flat, and fill their mouths up untill they go blue. The Speech Therapist had no idea why he got the cold shoulder whenever he appeared on the ward.
  6. by   Jessiedog
    Quote from grace90
    What's treacle?
    Sorry, treacle is Aussie for molasses!!!
  7. by   Jessiedog
    Quote from micmac
    I'm not sure exactly what a "Triple H" consists of...but they would hang some kind of hot liquid (soap suds?), hang it up high, and the helluva lot i'm assuming meant that it was waaaay more than the typical Fleets we give now! I think that sometimes "old time" enemas get ordered when you have someone who doesn't respond to more current measures. I don't know...I work in OB, so we rarely get people who are severely constipated or impacted. If they are, the baby usually pushes it out as they are being delivered! What a nice, natural way to clear the chute!
    The ' Three H' enema would be related to the "soap 'n water" enema we were taught about, and that was only 16 years ago! 500mls of warm water, 2 to 4 squirts of soap, and a funnel attached to a tube to administer it with. You inserted the tube, held the funnel as high as you could (using a chair if you were really short) and poured the mixture into the funnel from a jug.

    They did work, too!
  8. by   talaxandra
    Jessie, I have exactly the same issue where I work. Really? Sitting UP?! Could you explain how that... oh! To stop them... aspirating, was it? Thank God you came along! That explains why every stroke patient I've ever looked after turned navy and stopped breathing.

    Yes, I know there are idiots out there, but we are the stroke unit and having Every Single Step spelled out (down to making sure they're awake and alert) is insulting.
  9. by   Nurse Salt
    "Please provide Playstation consul for pt's use"


    And I work on an ADULT critical care floor!!! Wonder where the doc expected us to get it from... (We don't have a peds dept.)
  10. by   rph3664
    Quote from Nurse Salt
    "Please provide Playstation consul for pt's use"


    And I work on an ADULT critical care floor!!! Wonder where the doc expected us to get it from... (We don't have a peds dept.)
    By which route? :chuckle

    In Illinois, it's illegal to leave medications at the patient's bedside.
  11. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from Jessiedog
    One of our speech therapists took his job veeeeryyyy seriously, and got all the nurses off-side very quickly. In order to have pureed food and thickened fluids for our stroke patients, they needed an assessment from speech. He would come in, assess them, and then write instructions in the history and in the chart. In point form he would list instructions for feeding a very dense CVA with swallowing difficulties, underlining that the patient needed to be sitting upright, that only puree/thickened foods were to be used, and that we were to make sure the mouth was totally cleared before putting in the next spoonful.

    Hmmmm..... After nursing for 10 years I thought it was a good idea to feed these people while laying down flat, and fill their mouths up untill they go blue. The Speech Therapist had no idea why he got the cold shoulder whenever he appeared on the ward.
    Better yet, why not just turn the patient upside down and bang his head? Duh duh duh
  12. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from talaxandra
    Jessie, I have exactly the same issue where I work. Really? Sitting UP?! Could you explain how that... oh! To stop them... aspirating, was it? Thank God you came along! That explains why every stroke patient I've ever looked after turned navy and stopped breathing.

    Yes, I know there are idiots out there, but we are the stroke unit and having Every Single Step spelled out (down to making sure they're awake and alert) is insulting.
    I completely agree
  13. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from Nurse Salt
    "Please provide Playstation consul for pt's use"


    And I work on an ADULT critical care floor!!! Wonder where the doc expected us to get it from... (We don't have a peds dept.)
    Maybe he thought you should do the good samaritan thingy and go buy one just for patient. Sarcasm intended:angryfire

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