Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart? - page 33

To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply Darwin Consult and was signed by the... Read More

  1. by   2bprettynurse23
    diet coke for a very fat man
  2. by   criticalHP
    0245 ED. female pt c/o allergic reaction on chest and back. Claims it's her bra. Pt presents bra to RN (me); it was the oldest bra I've ever seen! Grey, no more elastic, and very tattered. Of course she reeked of ETOH. When I spoke to the doc he went and saw her, came out and handed me her script while rolling his eyes. Rx read "buy a new bra"! I couln't keep a straight face and had to wait 15 minutes to compose myself before I discharged her.
  3. by   BigDog
    vwerbal order from anestesia on arrival to pacu "watch breathing" uhhhhh no ***** sherlock
  4. by   Atl_John
    I was doing my psych rotations the other day and saw in a pt.s chart "same **** different day, and she threw a chicken sandwich at me". When I saw that, I laughed so hard I couldn't breath
    Last edit by Atl_John on Jun 8, '07
  5. by   stroykiller
    When I received a patient from ER the diagnosis was "fell in a creek". The patient was an IV drug abuser who had overdosed on Heroin and fell in a ravine.
  6. by   ladyval
    Funniest order I saw was a pt being admitted for "lung ass" instead of mass. Also remember various doctors ordering bilateral SCD's or TED hose for a pt with only one leg.
  7. by   jslo
    we had a patient admitted with the diagnosis of USA, amongst the various CHF, COPD, etc. we kidded each other about this patient having the dreaded "all-American disease" come to find out it was unstable angina. We all learned alot and added that to our list of approved abbreviations !
  8. by   colleennurse
    I had a resident write an order for q1 hour uop measurements and the pt DID NOT have a foley. I was like um you want me to ask the pt to get up and pee every hour? Who goes to the bathroom every hour?
  9. by   TDub
    Quote from TazziRN
    Okay, my contribution: many years ago we had a doc working the ER that we all serioiusly questioned whether or not her license was legit. She ordered an HCG on a 90-something woman who came in with sudden vag bleeding.

    To see if she had a tumour on her ovary or pituitary, kicking out betaHCG. The tumour could raise all kinds of merry hell with the lining of the uterus and vagina.
  10. by   grace90
    Quote from colleennurse
    I had a resident write an order for q1 hour uop measurements and the pt DID NOT have a foley. I was like um you want me to ask the pt to get up and pee every hour? Who goes to the bathroom every hour?
    On the surgical floor, another nurse had a pt with that kind of order. She was a 2 assist to get up. The doctor had ordered that she be gotten up to the bedside commode every hour to measure urine output, even at night. :trout:
  11. by   janetjanetbobanet
    Quote from johnboy
    Here's a rather annoying order written by a first-year resident, on the floor of all places:

    Nitropaste 1.5 inches to chest wall, q6h (fair enough so far),

    "TITRATE" to SBP> 90 by wiping off 1/4 inch at a time.

    How many of you folks have the time to stand by the bedside and take serial BP's when you have 10-14 patients all calling for you, just so you can "titrate" Nitropaste?
    ROFL!!!!!
  12. by   JessicRN
    We have a MD that doesn't feel the need to talk to the ER nurse so he write in a doctors order.
    ( usually written for our frequent flyer homeless drunk patients who come in only for food and shelter)
    - feed pt (one nurse made this error and paid for it, the drunk patient aspirated)
    - do vital signs.
    - give warm blanket and pillow.
    - give coffee (it is the staff coffee that we pay for on our own)
    -undress patient
    -discharge at 0600

    Wonder if we get a write up for not following these stat orders. "yes doctor I will do it right after I take care of my truly sick patients."
  13. by   Roy Fokker
    My old phone (before it died ) had all kinds of photo snap shots of doc orders.


    Probably the most memorable one in my nascent, infant career as a nurse?

    "1 shot of whiskey q 2-3 hrs PRN restlessness/agitation"

    Now when I first read that, I did a total !!!
    But then almost instantly, nursing "paperwork" instincts kicked in (lol) -- "A shot? What the heck does he mean by "shot" ? How much does he want it to be?"

    So I looked it up and found that a standard "shot" is about 30 cc.

    So, I made the doc write a clarification : "Clarification of above order - 30 ml Whiskey q 2-3 hrs PRN restlessness/agitation".

    So we were serving the patient shots of Black Bush Irish Whiskey as we thought needed fit


    cheers,

    PS: Later found that some of our docs do that. Some of them are known for ordering "1 beer with dinner" or "1 beer at bed time" for some of their patients

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