Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart? - page 21

To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply Darwin Consult and was signed by the... Read More

  1. by   jharris71RN
    We Have a very humorus MD that you never know what he will write and we read for fun at times.

    He was making rounds and stopped in to see a male patient that had an altered mental status (I forget the reason) but upon entering the room our good doctor discovers his mid aged male patient nude, all linens tossed off the bed and he is holding his IV tubing making a fly fishing cast motion repeatitively. MD asked what he was doing?

    HIS NOTE: Visited Mr. Doe this a.m. Patient pleasantly confused sitting in bed stating he was on a fishing trip and caught one at least 2 foot long; upon assessment noted it could not possibly be more than 3 - 4 inches.

  2. by   banditrn
    I saw this the other noc - "resident modeling"!!?

    Modeling what??
  3. by   Thanet
    Quote from sblanchet

    One more funny progress note: Pt is 84 years old and lives at home with his parents. Huh? And how old are they? 110?
    I actually have nursed an 80 year old Alzheimer lady who was regularly visited by her 105 year old mother (Copus mentus too!)
  4. by   grace90
    "Save a urine for me" - was from a renal doc consulted on a total knee replacement pt that developed post-op acute renal failure from Toradol
  5. by   barbyann
    taped report from new nurse.................

    Pt went for a colonoscopy and returned with a diagnosis of pneumonia, lower lobe infiltrates seen.

    Huh???? How far up did that flexible scope go?




    (asked nurse the next day and she clarified that pt had trouble breathing during GI procedure so doc sent him to xray prior to returning to floor)
  6. by   Maine Critical Care
    This week a doctor wrote "propofol holiday for this patient 30 minutes every shift" The patient is miserable and certainly won't think turning off the propofol is any kind of 'holiday'!
  7. by   RNAnnjeh
    Quote from RN-NICU
    One of my favorites...... 3H enema.... High, hot, and hell of alot.
    For the chronically constipated pt, I guess.
    Used to give the 5 H enema: High, hot, helluva lot, hold it 'til it hurts!

    Thank god I'm in peds now!!
  8. by   RNAnnjeh
    my sister-in-law received this prescription from her family doctor a few years ago, and keeps it in her purse:

    2 week vacation in maui prn.

    for a rather violent patient, a physician wrote:

    2 short blasts with fire extinguisher prn until empty. after that, use other end until compliant.

    fortunately he was just kidding and wrote it on a blank order sheet. kept that one with me for those days when you wonder why you came to work.
  9. by   rph3664
    This really isn't an order, but a while back, a male patient was recorded as "female" in the computer, and the next day, the doctor wrote in huge letters, "HE has a penis!!!!!!!"

    lol
  10. by   CaseManager1947
    Being in hospital case management, we get orders like these:
    1. Get pt an apartment (no money nor ability to get any, any time soon).
    2. Help pt get washer and dryer for his house
    3. Call parents, and make them take care of pt.(ok, I'll get right on that)???
    4. Patient needs new shoes (I do too, will ya buy me some)

    I mean ... we're Case Management, not Mother to the World!
  11. by   southern_rn_brat
    This wasnt in a chart, it was on a prescription that my husband's doctor wrote.

    My husband had a prostate infection and the doc told him he needed to have as many orgasms as possible to help clear the infection. (or was it epididimytis? it was in that area anyway lol) so my husband tells the doc" oh sure my wife will believe that one"

    the doc says "she's a nurse, right?" so he wrote an order for
    "numerous orgasms daily" lol

    MEN! :uhoh21:
  12. by   grace90
    Quote from southern_rn_brat
    This wasnt in a chart, it was on a prescription that my husband's doctor wrote.

    My husband had a prostate infection and the doc told him he needed to have as many orgasms as possible to help clear the infection. (or was it epididimytis? it was in that area anyway lol) so my husband tells the doc" oh sure my wife will believe that one"

    the doc says "she's a nurse, right?" so he wrote an order for
    "numerous orgasms daily" lol

    MEN! :uhoh21:

    Oh, garsh, that is too funny!!!
  13. by   gemcitygirl
    1 shot Johnny Walker whiskey (not cheap rotgut!) thickened to honey consistency Q hs. Pharmacy bought it and we thickened it. Eww!

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