Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart? - page 20

To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply Darwin Consult and was signed by the... Read More

  1. by   MacNurse
    Quote from JWaldron
    And I had a pt. with admitting dx of "Eurosepsis". Must have gotten it on a trip.
    :roll :roll :roll
    Oh man...classic....must be a new STD
  2. by   Adam D. RN2005
    Quote from MacNurse
    :roll :roll :roll
    Oh man...classic....must be a new STD
    One seen today, Admitting Dx for a stable gait person: Abnormal Gait. If her gait is abnormal then I have it as well.

    Adam, RN
  3. by   Someday-C.R.N.A.
    Quote from BETSRN
    Actually, once long ago, I saw a dx in a Kardex that said "broken penis." I forgot about that one until right now.
    I didn't know that could happen until recently. That's GOTTA hurt!!

    I'm a little uncomfortable just thinking about it.
  4. by   elthia
    1. Please collect UA for c&s that was ordered yesterday. (Pt had bladder ca 30 years ago, was s/p bladder removal and his ureters were connected to his colon, so he urinated through his rectum. Trust me, reason for not collecting UA was carefully documented in nurses notes.)

    2. Place wander guard on pt. ( pt was bilateral BKA, and needed assistance with transfers)

    3. Insert foley catheter (pt had psych hx, was s/p self amputation of penis x4 years ago, ummm I'll defer that one to GU)

    4. If pt returns to floor smelling of ETOH, stat drug screen, and discharge irregular.

    5. NG tube to intermittent LWS at all times, full liquid diet.

    6. If patient too comatose to take lactulose po, then will administer as a lactulose enemy.

    7. Please place DVT's bilaterally.(I think he ment PCD's, i.e. leg pumps)




    Mostly have MD who writes amusing H&P's.
    1. Confused, aphasic patient with trach, PEG, no chart, dropped off at hospital labeled "mystery challenger".

    2. "Hopefully nursing staff will not be taken in by patient's false c/o chest pain in order to recieve narcotics, however nursing staff can administer SL nitro if BP is within normal limits."

    3. "repeat admission x4 in 2 months for detox, pysch input greatly appreciated and reviewed, unfortunately very little light at the end of this tunnel"

    4. "92 y/o male with endstage Alzheimer's with bilateral pnuemonia and UTI, PEG feedings, code status reviewed with family, family desires aggressive measures, will review pt's disability income with social worker, and have disability income go to NH care, family will most likely change code status at that time."
  5. by   grace90
    1- Do not remove foley for 5 days, even if I write an order to take it out before that! :roll (General surgeon with a tendency to forget her own orders, on a fresh post-op pt. sp sigmoid resection)

    2- Do not call night shift internal medicine service with low urine outputs. Internal medicine service does not care what the pt urine output is. (This precious gem of an internist is no longer working with us. :Melody: :hatparty: )
  6. by   suebird3
    grace & elthia.....tell me it ain't so! :roll :roll :roll :roll
    Those were tooo funny!
  7. by   grace90
    this was actually a telephone order from a general surgeon received a couple days ago by a co-worker, to "consult the new GI doc who's name I can't pronounce"... hee hee hee :chuckle :chuckle :chuckle
  8. by   Sapphy
    Quote from Zee_RN
    "Root beer float q.h.s. prn."

    Honest to God. In a hospital. MD said we should make it. At this time, on the med-surg unit, there was one RN, one LPN and one aide for 18 pts. We didn't point out that he left out the route in his order.
    OMG I was going to post that exact same order!! It is on one of my patients chart/Kardex as we speak!! I cracked up when I saw it!
  9. by   mandrews
    Quote from Sapphy
    OMG I was going to post that exact same order!! It is on one of my patients chart/Kardex as we speak!! I cracked up when I saw it!
    brittle diabetic. bs average 479
    strict order vanilla ice cream q hs per familys demand

    pepsi bid per familys request

    nutrition consult ordered: family would like to understand what they can do to keep blood sugar under control.

    I took sugarfree vanilla and diet pepsi that I poured into a styrofoam cup so they could not see it wasn't the real thing. I could not contribute to the delinquency of idiots.

    melissa
  10. by   elthia
    Quote from mandrews
    brittle diabetic. bs average 479
    strict order vanilla ice cream q hs per familys demand

    pepsi bid per familys request

    nutrition consult ordered: family would like to understand what they can do to keep blood sugar under control.

    I took sugarfree vanilla and diet pepsi that I poured into a styrofoam cup so they could not see it wasn't the real thing. I could not contribute to the delinquency of idiots.

    melissa


    I've had scenarios like that more times than I'd like to admit.
  11. by   Teachchildren123
    Xanax 1 mg IV Q 2hrs.
    This one got his MD papers in a box of Cracker Jack!
  12. by   Sapphy
    We have a Vanilla Milkshake qhs as we speak.,... doc forgot to order the dose and the route though so maybe we should give it rectally?? lol
  13. by   muffie
    please weigh pt on a real scale [we just look at the pt and pick a reasonable # ! ]

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