Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

From tonights shift

--Psychic consult
--phisic consult

--Barbara

You laugh, but that's becoming more common (again). Our surgeons screen patients for possible DTs after their open-heart surgery. If they're found to be at risk, they have a standing order for "Beer: 1 can PO, BID." Thank god they specified "PO".

They figure that it's easier (and better for the patient) to stem the DTs before they start. We're not going to dry them up anyway, and their bodies can put the energy into healing instead of withdrawl.

LAST WEEK OUR ENTIRE NIGHT SHIFT WAS "ATTACKED" BY A FELLOW IN DT'S. SENT 2 SECURITY OFFICERS TO THE ED WITH INJURIES. THIS GUY PULLED THE MIRROR OFFA THE WALL ,FLOODED THE ROOM ALONG WITH ALL HIS "ACTING OUT".
THE MD WOULD NOT ALLOW HIM TO BE SENT TO LA-LA LAND AND ONLY ORDERED ENOUGH HALDOL TO PI$$ OFF THIS GUY. WELL, HAD I BEEN THE MD,I WOULD HAVE SENT SOMEONE SOMEWHERE FOR A BEVRAGE OF THE ALCOHOL FOOD GROUP,WOULD HAVE GIVEN HIM A P.O. BOLUS AND THEN WOULD HAVE PLACED HIM ON OUR DETOX PROTOCOL...YEAH,WE HAVE A PROTOCOL...AND IT WORKS...IF UTILIZED. WE ALSO HAVE AN ALCOHOLIC TREATMENT FACILITY IN THIS INSTITUTION...THEY REFUSED TO TAKE HIM AS A TRANSFER BECAUSE HE HAD NOT BEEN DE-TOXED. HAVING WORKED THS UNIT PRN,I SAID,...UMMMM...WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT TAKING HIM,....OH,I SEE,ALL THE ACTIVE DRINKERS ARE ADMITTED FOM EVERY CORNER OF THIS STATE, AND YOU CANNOT TAKE HIM BECAUSE HE ISN'T DRINKING...!!!!!!! ALRIGHTY THEN...
MY POINT...I HOLD THE MD RESPONSIBLE FOR HAVING THE KNOWLEDGE OF THIS GUY'S ALCOHOLISM FROM DAY ONE AND FOR IGNORING THE PLEAS OF STAFF TO PLACE HIM ON THE PROTOCOL IMMEDIATELY. IS THIS NOT CALLED NEGLIGENCE AND ISN'T IT A SHAME THAT WE CANNOT INITIATE LITIGATION AGAINST THE MD FOR ENDANGERMENT OF STAFF...
THERE I GO AGAIN...VERY TIRED...'SCUSE ME...
WOULD RATHER TAKE CARE OF A PACK OF RABID WOLVES THAN BE "WATCHING " FOR SYMPTOMS OF DT'S AND HAVING REQUESTS FOR ESTABLISHED PROTOCOLS IGNORED. I HAVE ALL IDEAS THESE PATIENTS ARE TRULY SUFFERING,AND IT IS MY JOB TO ALEVIATE THE SYMPTOMS,BUT NO LONGER WILL I RISK MY A$$ OR MY EARNING POTENTIAL DUE TO THE STUPIDITY OF AN EDUCATED IDIOT!!!!!!!!

Imagine being a nursing student helping to pass out lunch trays and coming across one with 2 cans of beer on it. Made sense once the charge nurse told me why it was there, but really surprised me! I also remember a comatose man in the ICU that was getting whiskey through his NG tube.

One of my favorites...... 3H enema.... High, hot, and hell of alot.
For the chronically constipated pt, I guess.

Here's a rather annoying order written by a first-year resident, on the floor of all places:

Nitropaste 1.5 inches to chest wall, q6h (fair enough so far),

"TITRATE" to SBP> 90 by wiping off 1/4 inch at a time.

How many of you folks have the time to stand by the bedside and take serial BP's when you have 10-14 patients all calling for you, just so you can "titrate" Nitropaste?

about the dumbest order I ever got was one asking for a u/a on an anuric pt! uh-DUH!!!


Geesh......

This wasn't an order a Dr wrote but was a diagnosis on an ER chart. Female patient came in with an ulcer on her leg...badly infected. On the er record our doc wrote for diagnosis...copious ***** drainage..ha ha ha totally left off where ...laughed until we cried. Next time he worked of course we brought it to his attention. The look on his face was priceless. Afterall you cannot alter a permanent record. Also had an elderly doc running through nurses station give a verbal order of " Swab so and so's mouth q 4 hrs with glycerin suppository " . At the time both day and night shift there for report and one of our surgeons..had a good laugh at the poor dears expense..course this is same doc that asked us one morning if the patient from the funeral home came yet .ha ha ha

I had a patient in the LTC facility that received 30cc whiskey PRN. He had drank 5 fifths a week for the past 50 years. His Physician said if she cut him off now he would die! It was kinda funny, he would come up to the nurses station like it was the bar and ask for his "shot".

Shari

that is a good one!!