Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart? - page 12

To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply Darwin Consult and was signed by the... Read More

  1. by   jadednurse
    I'm trying to be quiet (it's 3 am and my boyfriend is sleeping) but these are soooooo funny!

    Here's some more...

    While working at a small community hospital in the ICU one attending physician, who was older than dirt I might add, wrote the folllowing order in the chart of my patient (who was also older than dirt): "Do not electrocute." OK, I know he meant do not defibrillate, but I had to laugh.

    The other classic came from an attending at the same hospital, same ICU. This wasn't my patient, but the nurse taking care of him was a little intimidated by the attending, who was notorious for being a bully and often hung up on nurses when they called her at home for orders. Frustrated from the multiple calls this new RN was making regarding the patient's declining condition (the patient's status was full DNR), she gave the RN the following order " "Do not call me until patient is dead!" And yep, the nurse wrote in in the chart.

    Wow, no wonder I don't work there anymore!
  2. by   FROGGYLEGS
    Not an order, but this came back on one of our patient's UA.....
    trace amounts of talcum powder. That was the first and only lab report that I have seen with talcum powder listed with everything else.
  3. by   JefferyRN
    "Ambulate in Hell bid"

    Let's just say it was a long hot summer.
  4. by   jannecdote
    [QUOTE=Nadine RN]Transcribed by ward clerk:
    Baloney amputation

    What the doc said:
    Below the knee amputation[/QUOT

    Reminded me of a unit secretary that put "Old Timers Disease" as a diagnosis instead of Alzheimers. Sadly, she was diagnosed with it herself a few months later and retired.
  5. by   talaxandra
    Quote from KristenRN
    I had a co-worker telling us about her work at a small hospital that had only a house doc, no intensivist in house. Pt having seizures, house doc wanted no part of him. She called intensivist at home at 2AM, only to be hung up on several times, then the doc left the phone off the hook. She sent the sheriff to his house, and received a phone call back from the doc with the order to "give ativan till patient stops seizing or stops breathing."
    Two weeks ago we had an inpatient (known epilepsy, admitted with a healed foot ulcer, now has unstable blood sugars) who started focal fitting. After twenty minutes the neurology cover started ordering diazepam. After two hours, the patient was still twitching but really, really drowsy. Half an hour after that they called ICU because he was so snowed his respiratory status was threatened.
    The next day, back on the ward but drowsy, the neuro consultant came up and wrote in the notes: "On-going focal seizures are not life-threatening. Going to ICU IS! Do not transfer to ICU without unit approval!"
    Another time we had one of our end-stage renal patients on another ward. After three days of being called every four hours because they were worried about his (lack of) urine output, and didn't they think he should have a catheter, the unit demanded he come back to us because "You guys think 50ml/day is good!" :chuckle
  6. by   hospicenurse
    Not an order, but we had a doc, well known for saying whatever was on his mind, write in a patient's progress note: SSDD (same s**t different day) That one didn't go over too well w/administration. However, he is now Medical Director.
  7. by   southern_rn_brat
    The daughter of one of my patients was INSISTING that her mom have a coke every day in the afternoon. I, inadvertently, charted " daughter wants pt to have a co*k every afternoon". :imbar

    I wasnt the one that found my little error either
  8. by   Lenap
    Incentive spirometry x10 qh-for a patient with a trach

    Intermittent compression sleeves to wear at all times- for a pt with b/l above knee amputation.

    Tylenol 650 mg prn for fever, pain for NPO patient that also had another order "Nothing per rectum".
    :chuckle
  9. by   Lenap
    ok, this one is not from a chart...but still funny.

    I went to iMac support website. This is actually from their page:

    <TABLE id=kbframe cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width=680 align=center border=0><TBODY><TR><TD id=kbtitle colSpan=3>How to pick up and carry your iMac G5</TD></TR><TR><TD id=kbcontent>Don't know how to pick up and carry your iMac G5? It's easy.


    Before moving your computer, make sure all cables and cords are disconnected. Pick up the iMac G5 by grasping both sides of the computer. Carry it to wherever
    you wish.

    </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

    http://docs.info.apple.com/article.html?artnum=86816

  10. by   boulergirl
    Here's something I saw on the show "ER":

    Patient is flipping out, screaming that he wants a certain med--I think it was a narcotic--and he won't go home until he gets it. One of the ER residents tells a nurse to get this guy "OBECALP". Fortunately, the nurse didn't do it and the chief resident Dr. Kerry (who heard everything) chewed this guy out for prescribing a PLACEBO. Anyone ever had a doctor do this in real life?
  11. by   boulergirl
    Oops! I meant to say Dr. WEAVER, not Dr. Kerry! (That was her first name.)
  12. by   sstar4353
    On the chart of a recently deceased patient:


    "Transfer to morgue."
  13. by   macspuds
    I so enjoy your publication site. You folks really know how to both inform and brighten one's day.
    Thank you.
    Lee Mcf

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