From the mouths of non-nurses - page 3

My wife, a piano teacher, and I were talking about music and she was using some pretty "technical" terms that I, not a music professional, didn't understand. She said, "Now you know what it's like... Read More

  1. by   kittagirl
    Oh dear Lord I just nearly wet myself a bagel response.......................................... .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ...................................


    I love it!
  2. by   jessi1106
    Recently had a little lady who stated that her pain was coming back and whe would like some more 'vikington'.
  3. by   gentlegiver
    I woke my hubby laughing at these! Please send more!
  4. by   Super RT
    I can't count how many times I have been asked what a patient's "Stats" are.


    (Imagine a deep southern drawl) I had an elderly COPDer telling me that she needed to call. When I handed her the phone, she looked at me like I had grown a second head. She repeated call, I need to CALL! I asked her if she needed me to dial? "NO, no, I need to call. Hand me a tishey" HUH! When I got it, I handed her a tissue and she coughed so hard she turned slightly blue! Hello, deep south!
  5. by   fronkey bean
    Quote from Super RT
    I can't count how many times I have been asked what a patient's "Stats" are.


    (Imagine a deep southern drawl) I had an elderly COPDer telling me that she needed to call. When I handed her the phone, she looked at me like I had grown a second head. She repeated call, I need to CALL! I asked her if she needed me to dial? "NO, no, I need to call. Hand me a tishey" HUH! When I got it, I handed her a tissue and she coughed so hard she turned slightly blue! Hello, deep south!
    Have you had one ask you to hand them the "jug" so they can "make water" yet? I was raised in the South and that one still tickles me.
  6. by   Super RT
    Quote from fronkey bean
    Have you had one ask you to hand them the "jug" so they can "make water" yet? I was raised in the South and that one still tickles me.
    I have heard the make water thing, but not the jug. I love it when I hear about water pills, though!
  7. by   ElvishDNP
    I love the Southernism "sugar diabetes."

    Yes, I know there is another type of diabetes. But most folks who use the above term don't.
  8. by   krazy_coconuts
    Heard a visitor reply to another visitor that the NPO sign on the door stood for "Normal Post Op"
  9. by   twistedpupchaser
    My wife has banned all medical talk in the house. If the kids get sick all she wants to know is if I can fix them or do we need to get them to a Dr. If I try to explain my reasons she just "blanks out". I guess I have done medical terminology to death.

    When told that she had a fractured radius & ulna I had a patient reply that "it's lucky I didn't break it!" She was upset when she was told that yes she had broken her arm.
  10. by   nurseby07
    I had a brain-injured pt who kept putting his finger down his meatus, even with restraints on. At 2 am he started screaming so I ran in there to find blood gushing, spewing, pulsating out of his penis. I grabbed a towel, applied pressure, someone else called the doc, two other cleaned him and the bed up while I sat there, applying pressure. After the clean up we were alone, he was still bleeding, and he turns to me and asks in all seriousness, "Was that good for you? I get the feeling you were disappointed."
    So funny and so sad.
  11. by   allthemadmen
    Quote from diarygirl512
    A college friend who came to borrow books and wondered how your cervix could be fractured!!!!!
    At least she wondered!
  12. by   bagladyrn
    I had a "Spanish only" antepartum patient the other night and although my Spanish and her English are both limited to short words and a few phrases we were doing pretty well communicating until she informed me "I need sex". I asked her to repeat what she had said, thinking to myself "Honey that's what started this problem in the first place" and she repeated herself with the same phrase. On the third repetition she pointed to her bare feet, which is when I realized she was requesting a pair of socks!
  13. by   nursegirl1988
    My sons often ask me when I come home from work "Did you get to do anything cool today, like put a tube is some guys , or stick him with needles?" I once answered "no, but I got to put a suppository in a patients rectum" and he replied "Mom you have the coolest job!" If he only thinks I am this cool when he is 16......

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