fancy dress party

A man with a bald head and a wooden leg gets invited
to a fancy dress party. He doesn't know what costume
to wear to hide his head and his leg, so he writes to a
fancy dress company to explain the problem.

A few days later he receives a parcel with a note.

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit.
The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head
and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate.

The man thinks this is terrible because they have just
emphasised his wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives another parcel and a note that says:


Dear Sir,

Sorry about before, please find enclosed a monk's habit.
The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your
bald head you will really look the part.

Now the man is really annoyed since they
have gone from emphasising his wooden leg

to emphasising his bald head and he writes the
company a really rude letter of complaint.
The next day he receives a small parcel and a note that reads:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a tin of golden syrup
treacle. Pour the tin of golden syrup treacle
over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up
your butt and go as a toffee apple.