Excuses for Missing Work - page 3

How about a list of wierd excuses for not coming to work? My favorite: I can't come in today, I'm having vision problems. I just don't see myself working. Kevin... Read More

  1. by   Jen911
    I actually had to call in late once because I was honestly stuck *in* my apartment!! My apartment had a sliding glass door, and we had an ice storm overnight. Well, guess what froze shut during the ice storm?? You got it! I was frozen solid right inside my apartment!! Nice and snug waiting for the spring thaw (or the hairdryer, whichever came first).
  2. by   kids
    I actually took a call in at 0530 for an 0600 from a Nurse who said she couldn't come in because....

    "I was getting ready for work and doing my hair and discovered I have head lice."

    If it were me I would have said I had uncontrolable projectile diarrhea.
  3. by   CATHYW
    "My pet octopus bit me."
  4. by   sunnygirl272
    one of our clerical staff really called in constipated....
  5. by   sunnygirl272
    NEW EMPLOYEE RULES WILL BE REVISED IN YOUR EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK AT A LATER
    DATE!!

    SICKDAYS:
    We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof
    of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you
    are able to come to work.

    SURGERY:
    Operations are now banned. As long as you are an
    employee here, you need all your organs. You should
    not consider removing anything. We hired you intact.
    To have something removed constitutes a breach of
    employment.

    PERSONAL DAYS:
    Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
    They are called Saturday &Sunday.

    VACATION DAYS:
    All employees will take their vacation at the same
    time every year.
    The vacation days are as follows: Jan. 1, July 4 &
    Dec. 25

    BEREAVEMENT LEAVE:
    This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
    you can do for dead friends, relatives or coworkers.
    Every effort should be made to have non-employees
    attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where
    employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should
    be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to
    allow you to work through your lunch hour and
    subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share
    of the work is done enough.

    OUT FROM YOUR OWN DEATH:
    This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we
    require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty
    to train your own replacement.

    RESTROOM USE:
    Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom.
    In the future, we will follow the practice of going in
    alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose
    names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00 to 8:20,
    employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8:20
    to 8:40 and so on. If you're unable to go at your
    allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until
    the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme
    emergencies employees may swap their time with a
    coworker. Both employees' supervisors in writing
    must approve this exchange. In addition, there is now
    a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end
    of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet
    paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open.

    LUNCH BREAK:
    Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to
    eat more so that they can look healthy, normal size
    people get 30 minutes for lunch to get a balance meal
    to maintain thee average figure. Fat people get
    5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed
    to drink a Slim Fast &take a diet pill.

    DRESS CODE:
    It is advised that you come to work dressed according
    to your salary, if we see you wearing $350 Prada shoes
    &carrying a $600 Gucci bag we assume you are doing
    well financial and therefore you do not need a
    raise.

    Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here
    to provide a positive employment experience.
    Therefore, all questions comments, concerns,
    complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations,
    insinuations, allegations, accusations,
    contemplation's, consternation's, or input should
    be directed elsewhere. Have a nice week.

    Management
  6. by   BernieO
    "My Grandfather died" (Reported by the same CNA 6 times in one year.)
  7. by   SmilingBluEyes
    well ***GRAMPS*** has THREE MORE LIVES TO GO IF he's A CAT eh, Bernie????? sheesh! what garbage! I don't lie to call in...i save call-ins for when my kids are sick cause that I cannot help....good thread.
  8. by   live4today
    Excuses for calling in sick from work?

    I've fallin' and I can't get up!
  9. by   sandstormsdust
    my friend had homwork... and her rabbit got outta the cage... ripped the paper to shreads... and so she told her instructer just that... NO ONE beleived her... but if you ever had rabbits you know what I am talking about
  10. by   prmenrs
    One of my co-workers was doing some home repair work with her husband. She was on one side of the garage door and he was on the other w/the power drill. He drilled THRU the door and into her thumb!

    I thought that was a pretty good excuse!!
  11. by   prn nurse
    Do they have Taco Bells' all over the country?? Everyone here knows calling in cause you ate a bean burrito at Taco Bell is valid for a case of the runs, accompanied by severe abdominal cramping and "throwing up all night" or all day, whichever way you need it....and a terrible headache too...

    Obviously can't work puking and shi_ _ ing !

    Even the managers have had it, so no one ever argues with ya.
  12. by   NurseMonkey
    I want to thank you for this topic because I AM calling off tomorrow, and I haven't decided yet what to tell them. I think I may go with the explosive cat diarrhea!
  13. by   nurseratchett29
    My personal favorite is the "FAMILY EMERGENCY" that one of our MA's had the other day. This of course was the day after she was *****ing that the other MA had called in sick. I had to do my triage job, put patients in the exam rooms, run the script line (because the other nurse was late) and send out 50 lab letters. All while I myself was sick cuz I'm too stupid to call in

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