Nurses Humor
Published Jun 23, 2003
Interpretations of nature from junior high, high school, and
college test papers and essays submitted to science and
health teachers (spelling errors preserved)....
When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire."
"H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water"
"To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube"
"When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide"
"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin
is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
"Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars."
"Blood flows down one leg and up the other."
"Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then
expectoration."
"The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader."
"Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull."
"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."
"A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."
"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."
"The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax
and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain,
the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable
cavity contains the bowls, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u."
"The pistol of a flower is its only protections agenst insects."
"The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana."
"The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been
taken out and the outsides have ben taken off. The purpose of
the skeleton is something to hitch meat to."
"A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight
cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors."
"The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water
tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the
moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun
joins in this fight."
"A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is."
"Germinate: To become a naturalized German."
"Liter: A nest of young puppies."
"Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat."
"Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."
"Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky."
"Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot."
"Vacumm: A large, empty space where the pope lives."
"Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative."
"To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose."
"For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops."
"For drowning: Climb on top of the person and move up and
down to make artifical perspiration."
"For fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her
arm above the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees
of the nearest medical doctor."
"For dog bite: put the dog away for sevral days. If he has
not recovered, then kill it."
"For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is
dead."
"For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose untill it drops in your throat."
"To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow."
Jay-Jay, RN
633 Posts
LOL!!! Having taught biology, I can really relate to these!!
One of my students came up with the following: The three types of blood cells are red, white and green.
Guess he was thinking of Mr. Spock!!
slyhrtbt
44 Posts
One student in my A&P class answered the question "What is something that makes you loose bidy fluid called? they answered Peemore.
rnnurse2be
226 Posts
Originally posted by gwenith "The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowls, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u."
My A&P teacher would have DIED! LOL LOL :)
ShelleyERgirl, LPN
436 Posts
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
Oh man, I have tears coming down my face from laughing, I am surprised I can see to type! Those were great!