ER- HELP: Dumbest reason people go to ER

Ok, I don't know about the funny scale but this happened when we were doing a walk-thru in the ER last weekend.

The ambulance brings in 2 people (who look to be in their early 20's) on one stretcher...of course this catches EVERYONES attention.

The triage nurse asks what is the problem

(Oh, I forgot to mention they were locked together in what looked like a kissing position)

So the EMT says "Both have braces and they are locked together"

Now you might not find this dumb until.....


HE then goes on to say, in a quieter voice, "We contacted the females husband.... he is on his way to see if his wife is ok"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


DOHHHHHHHHHHHH


PEOPLE KILL ME>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Constipation......I will admit there are cases where it is a bonifide visit (rarely) but most of the time, just OMG, would you go to an ER for someone to either give you an enema or to dig you out?

are you ready for this?, this is all from my b/f whos a paramedic/ff-

1."hair pain"
2. "im hearing ghosts"
3. 'i have a sore throat from eating too much fried chicken"
4. "ive been having rough sex for 6 days straight
5."i havent pooped in a week" "why is that ma'am?" "ive been smoking crack
6. toothache.
7 runny nose
8 "i have a roach in my ear" [ and this girl did in fact have a roach in her ear]

i have so many more---but i cant remember them right now.

i hope this helps

Pt called 911 and came to ER by ambulance...59 y/o woman..."I feel dizzy and I may throw up, I feel horrible, I think I might be dying"

When asked about alcohol......"Yes I had some gin drinks at the dinner party".

After workups...diagnosis: Drunk (her first time ever)

She also had a friend with her who was convinced something medically horrible was happening.

Can you imagine???? not equating drinking w/ the possibility of "feeling dizzy"...etc???

Had a guy call our OB triage (essentially an OB ER), he said his GF was 44 weeks pregnant and he was worried that she hadn't delivered yet and she was refusing to come be checked out. Police were sent to their home to get the patient and she was brought in.
Palpating this very large woman's abdomen the triage nurse (not me that night) came out and told me that she couldn't feel a fetus nor could she get a heartbeat. So the OB came in to check via ultrasound. As he scanned the abdomen he kept circling around and saying..."and there's your bladder", "and there's your bladder again", ,scan and scan some more> "hmmm, uh ma'am? Have you ever had any surgery before?" She said "no" he then asked her "like, has anyone removed your uterus?" As the boyfriend's lightbulb started to go off he started breathing heavier and looking very angry (this guy looked like an NFL linebacker) my friend said she started to back away from the bed in case he went off!
It turned out that this woman had been telling her BF that she was pregnant so he wouldn't leave her and that she had had a vag hyst years before!! Good grief, how did she think she was ever going to get away with that!

Now this...this does not surprise me. My MIL told me that she was allergic to alcohol b/c it "makes her feel funny".

You really can't make this stuff up.....

A lady came in with c/o that the hospital pharmacy gave her white percocet tablets instead of the blue ones she was used to getting. She thought they were tylenol.

I liked it the first way...

I work on a medical floor in a Level 1 hospital. One evening, one of the trauma surgeons was seeing a patient on our floor when his pager went off. A man and his wife were in the ER, he'd gotten a vibrator stuck in his rectum while they were playing. The Doc took off saying he guessed he'd check if they wanted it removed or just new batteries put in.

When the guy was later transferred to our floor for a 24 hour obs - he and his wife disappeared down the back elevator before he could even be assessed. Imagine that!

Hmmm, well not ER but was called 911 to a LOL with an eyelash in her eye.

Not my most stellar hour but........
I was working Triage in a busy ER and we were hammered, ambulance divert in hour 3 and the like, when I had a pair of women come in obviously upset. Now were both in the high heeled shoes with stretch pants (can’t say for sure but I remember leopard print) and really reinforcing a stereotype. Anyway, when I finally got Candy and Dasey calmed down enough to talk, they proceeded to tell me they were attacked by a pack of Chihuahua. Thinking of the stabbing in the back, I lost all trace of professionalism, burst out laughing, and had to have a coworker complete the triage.

Had a nice LOL present for flatus. Again in Triage, she told me her PCP wouldn’t do anything about it so she came to the ER.

Another busy night in the ER, coworker comes back from Triage shaking her head (never a good sign). When I asked her what was up, she handed me the chart and walked off. The Triage note read ‘Pt states “They started me on a new medication for The Voices and they have stopped. I’m not ready for that.’”

Those are the ones that jump to mind.

And I’d love a copy when you are done