Doctors' Chart Bloopers - page 4

Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared. Father died in his 90's of female... Read More

  1. by   LaceyLou
    How about "Put patient to bed with Happy ending."

    Lol. This was for an alzheimer's patient, they MEANT to leave the room on a positive note.
  2. by   chabliz
    really funny, can't stop laughing... thnx!!
  3. by   Not_A_Hat_Person
    Quote from LaceyLou
    How about "Put patient to bed with Happy ending."
    I hope they were talking about the sundae.
  4. by   sharpeimom
    From a chart I read:... "patient's foot was amputated above the knee." huh?

    Overheard two interns chatting over lunch. Mr. ___ was apparently healthy and in no apparent distress but still woke up dead.

    sharpeimom
  5. by   LaceyLou
    Funny how they wake up dead, isn't it? Lol.
  6. by   Mr Ian
    ok - there are times I know the docs deliberately chart with tongue firmly in cheek... and this isn't necessarily a blooper at all...

    On a secure psych ward , pt with chronic head injury (ABI) with poor impulse control frequently assaulted others when he felt angry - but was easily de-escalated and his underlying personality was very pleasant.

    On one occasion he assaulted a co-pt; staff isolated him off the ward until psych review to assess risk and return him to the main unit. Entry went something like:
    "Asked pt what happened and says he hit co-pt cos he was angry.
    Asked if there was anything else he should have done.
    Pt thought about this for a while and said "Yes".
    Asked him what he should have done instead - he replied
    "I should have head butted him"

    ....
  7. by   masonRN
    A few orders I encountered this past July:

    Transfuse PRBC as necessary to maintain HGB > 24

    PVR: ISC if > 25

    Dilaudid 4mg IVP; per pt request, give over 5 seconds.

    MS Contin 45 mg TID. Instruct pt not to chew. May be crushed and mixed with food to aid swallowing.

    Kayexalate 30 mg PO. If pt is NPO, administer vaginally.

    Instruct pt's caregiver on color, consistancy and taste of C-dif feces.
  8. by   jnrsmommy
    Quote from masonRN
    A few orders I encountered this past July:

    Transfuse PRBC as necessary to maintain HGB > 24

    PVR: ISC if > 25

    Dilaudid 4mg IVP; per pt request, give over 5 seconds.

    MS Contin 45 mg TID. Instruct pt not to chew. May be crushed and mixed with food to aid swallowing.

    Kayexalate 30 mg PO. If pt is NPO, administer vaginally.

    Instruct pt's caregiver on color, consistancy and taste of C-dif feces.

    Wow, where to start w/ these :smackingf
  9. by   Penelope_Pitstop
    Quote from masonRN
    A few orders I encountered this past July:

    Transfuse PRBC as necessary to maintain HGB > 24
    I simply must know. What was it supposed to be?

    Quote from masonRN
    Dilaudid 4mg IVP; per pt request, give over 5 seconds.
    Hmm...how about you give it, doc...and hang around for a bit after? Thanks.


    Quote from masonRN
    Kayexalate 30 mg PO. If pt is NPO, administer vaginally.
    Nuh-uhh...

    Quote from masonRN
    Instruct pt's caregiver on color, consistancy and taste of C-dif feces.
    I had to read this one twice, then a third time before it sank into my head. I suppose the first task is finding a nurse who's tasted it.

    Thanks, Mason...you made my morning!

    *~Jess~*
  10. by   masonRN
    Quote from BlueHenRN
    I simply must know. What was it supposed to be?
    At nearly every institution I know, the magic number to transfuse is HGB (hemoglobin) under 8.0; of course, this will vary per specific pt needs, but this is a common baseline.

    Given that a HCT (hematocrit) is usually in the ballpark of 3x to 3.5x the HGB, it isn't unheard of for a MD to order transfusions to maintain a HCT of 24 to 28.

    I was tempted, if only for a few seconds, to call blood bank and ask if there were any protocols I was unaware of for transfusing 16 units of PRBCs
  11. by   Not_A_Hat_Person
    Quote from masonRN
    Kayexalate 30 mg PO. If pt is NPO, administer vaginally.
    What if my patient is male?
  12. by   diane227
    I had a physician describing a draining wound as "pu--y. I explained to him that he might want to reconsider writing this in the chart.
    Last edit by diane227 on Feb 1, '09 : Reason: clarification

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