Creative Writing

  1. Analogies & Metaphors Found in High School Essays

    Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its 2
    other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. -- Sue
    Lin Chong, Washington

    His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking
    alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
    -- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

    He spoke with wisdom that can only come from experience,
    like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar
    eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it
    and now goes around the country speaking at high schools
    about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without
    one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. -- Joseph Romm,
    Washington

    Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a
    sneeze. -- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

    Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots
    in the center. -- Russell Beland, Springfield

    Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who tried his level best
    to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but got
    T:flw.quid55329.com\aaakk/ch@ung by mistake. -- Ken
    Krattenmaker, Landover Hills

    Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. -- Barry
    Johnson, Richmond

    He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree. -- Jack
    Bross, Chevy Chase

    The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots
    when you fry them in hot grease. -- Gary F. Hevel, Silver
    Springs

    Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two
    freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m.
    traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at
    a speed of 35 mph. -- Jennifer Hart, Arlington

    A politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after
    the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can. -- Wayne Goode, Madison

    They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket
    fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth. -- Paul Kocak, Syracuse NY

    John & Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds
    who had also never met. -- Russell Beland, Springfield

    The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a
    thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play. -- Barbara Fetherolf, Alexandria

    The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola
    crayon. -- Diane Welch, Richmond

    He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she
    was the East River. -- Brian Broadus, Charlottesville

    Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel
    trap, only one that had been left out in the weather so
    long it had rusted shut.-- Sandra Hull, Arlington

    The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during
    the interview portion of "Jeopardy!" -- Jean Sorensen, Herndon

    Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do. -- Jerry Pannullo, Kensington

    The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But
    unlike Phil, this plan just might work. -- Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington

    The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from
    not eating for a while. -- Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington

    "Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like
    a college freshman on $1-a-beer night. -- Bonnie Speary
    Devore, Gaithersburg

    He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck
    either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from
    stepping on a land mine or something. -- John Kammer,
    Herndon

    Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone
    who can tell butter from I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.
    -- Barbara Collier, Garrett Park

    She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a
    dog makes just before it throws up. -- Susan Reese, Arlington

    It came down the stairs looking very much like something
    no one had ever seen before. -- Marian Carlsson, Lexington

    The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Rep. Sheila
    Jackson Lee (D-Tex.) in her first several points of
    parliamentary procedure made to Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill.)
    in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the
    impeachment of President William Jefferson Clinton. -- J.
    F. Knowles, Springfield

    The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one
    slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. --
    Jennifer Hart, Arlington

    The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a
    rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM. -- Paul J. Kocak, Syracuse

    The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an
    oscillating electric fan set on medium. -- Bill Johnson, Alexandria

    It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids
    around with power tools. -- Brian Broadus, Charlottesville

    He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard
    bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up. -- Susan
    Reese, Arlington

    She was as easy as the "TV Guide" crossword. -- Tom Witte,
    Gaithersburg

    Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten
    to put in any pH cleanser. -- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

    She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he
    was room-temperature Canadian beef. -- Brian Broadus,
    Charlottesville

    She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing
    legs. -- Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park

    Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-
    generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band
    tightened. -- Sue Lin Chong, Washington

    It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally
    staple it to the wall. -- Brian Broadus, CharlottesvilleThanks so much
    •  
  2. 12 Comments

  3. by   renerian
    Wow that was a long list of chuckles........

    Funny,

    I like the sneeze one...

    renerian
  4. by   Mkue
    Originally posted by WashYaHands
    She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he
    was room-temperature Canadian beef. -- Brian Broadus,
    Charlottesville

    LOL:chuckle

    that was my favorite, they were all very funny ! thanks
  5. by   canoehead
    So good!, thanks.
  6. by   christianRN
    They are all so funny!! The e.Coli is my favorite, too!
  7. by   JonRN
    I liked the one about grandpappy's steel trap mind the best. I can identify with it I guess.

    Pappy
  8. by   OBNURSEHEATHER
    Originally posted by WashYaHands

    Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who tried his level best
    to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but got
    T:flw.quid55329.com\aaakk/ch@ung by mistake. -- Ken
    Krattenmaker, Landover Hills

    Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. -- Barry
    Johnson, Richmond

    Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone
    who can tell butter from I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.
    -- Barbara Collier, Garrett Park

    It came down the stairs looking very much like something
    no one had ever seen before. -- Marian Carlsson, Lexington

    My favorites!

    Thanks! These are great!

    Heather
  9. by   l.rae
    [,
    Herndon

    Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone
    who can tell butter from I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.
    -- Barbara Collier, Garrett Park


    The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one
    slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. --
    Jennifer Hart, Arlington


    It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally
    staple it to the wall. -- Brian Broadus, CharlottesvilleThanks so much [/B][/QUOTE]



    my favorites
  10. by   donmurray
    "It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools" Life is obviously never dull in Charlottesville!
    The nosehair is sheer poetry!
  11. by   KP RN
    What's wrong with chasing your children around with power tools??
    I don't get it!

    Tee Hee!
  12. by   rebel_red
    LMAO!!! Since ya'll like these, there are a few books you might enjoy. The University of Arizona (I think!) runs a contest every year named after the Victorian author who penned the longest sentence "It was a dark and stormy night (naw not Snoopy) and it goes on for an additional 52 words. Anyhoo his name is Bullwer-Lytton (not sure about that spelling). They have at least 2 books out with the contest results. My favorite has always been: Why was the first ice age in Scotland? God likes his Scotch on the rocks......

    bwahahahaha
    Tres
  13. by   zudy
    :roll ROTFALMAO!!!!! The nosehair is my fav,too! I have read some of the "It was a dark and stormy night" they are too funny. Has any one else heard of these? Where can I find them?
  14. by   rebel_red
    Hey ya'll looked it up,

    The full title of the first book is: "It was a Dark and Stormy Night: The Best ( ? ) of the Bulwer-Lytton Contest." Compiled by Scott Rice. Amazon has em cheap, better yet the local library. :wink2:

    Ya'll also might enjoy the Darwin Awards, 3 books and counting, given post-humously to folks for taking themselves out of the gene pool in really inane ways. They also have a site on-line that is hysterical.

    Enjoy

    Tres

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