Comical Statements

  1. I went to a general store, but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

    I have a hobby. I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen some of it.

    I went for a walk last night and he asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, "The whole time."

    My buddy got busted for counterfeiting. He was making pennies. They caught him because he was putting the heads and tails on the wrong sides.

    I got stopped by a cop the other day. He said, "Why'd you run that stop sign?" I said, "Because I don't believe everything I read."

    My husband said I never listen to him. At least I think that's what he said.

    When I die, I want to go like my grandfather did, peacefully in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like all the passengers in his car.

    I filled out an application that said, "In Case of Emergency Notify". I wrote "Doctor"... What's my mother going to do?

    I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast.

    I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.
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  2. 7 Comments

  3. by   nursbee04
    Originally posted by betts
    I filled out an application that said, "In Case of Emergency Notify". I wrote "Doctor"... What's my mother going to do?
    Tee hee!! :roll :chuckle
  4. by   Zee_RN
    Someone actually has that on the ER Lame Awards thread, I believe. While doing admission history in the E.D., the nurse asked the father of the patient, "who should we call in the event of an emegency?" The man looked at the nurse like he was crazy and said " 911 ! "

    My personal favorite:


    "I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast. " LOL! That's me!
  5. by   jnette
    Originally posted by betts

    When I die, I want to go like my grandfather did, peacefully in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like all the passengers in his car.
    .


    Thanx... now I get to wipe the milk of my screen...
  6. by   FutureRN~Pookie
    OMG!! These are too hilarious!!! I am seriously laughing my ass off!!

    ~Kacy
  7. by   betts
    A man called here the other day and asked; "Who's talking?", I replied; "You Are."
  8. by   canoehead
    Oh, betts. Where do you get these?
  9. by   betts
    From my "Favorite" comedian; my husband.

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