Come again?

Nurses Humor

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Have you ever wished that you had a recording device on you during work so you could prove to others that some of the things that happened during your shift did happen? I had one of those moments recently -

Patient's Spouse: "He is running low on his one med. What do I do?"

Me: Does the bottle say there are refills left?

PS: No, there aren't. So what do I do?

Me: You need to inform the doctor who prescribed that medication. We don't refill meds, your doctor's office will have to do that. (Sidenote: short-term skilled home care, client is about to be discharged and these folks must learn to be more independent in the community! They are perfectly capable, but not willing)

PS: Oh. Well, it's is Fyorsit.

Me: I...don't see Fioricet on his medication list. Does he get migraines often?

PS: No, this is his one heart pill. Fyorsith (yes, pronounced differently)

Me: *crickets chirp* Furosemide? That's Lasix, a diuretic. But that's not on his list, either.

PS: NO, IT'S RED!

Me: I'm sorry ma'am but I don't know which of his pills are red.

PS: It's the only red pill he has!

Me: Okay, can you please go get the bottle.

PS: .......

Me: If you get the bottle we can figure out which medicine you mean.

PS: .....

Me: .....

PS: Fyorsin (yes, a third pronunciation) F-E-R-R-O-U-S S-U-L-F-A-T-E. Like I told you. (yes, she is literate).

Me: *banging head on every available surface* Okay, that's his iron supplement. The doctor will need to either re-order it from the pharmacy or tell you to buy it over the counter.

PS: So what do I do, he's running out of them?

***Waves white flag***

amoLucia

7,736 Posts

Specializes in retired LTC.

This was another one of those posts that actually made me laugh out loud.

We just can't make up these things!!!

Specializes in Medsurg/ICU, Mental Health, Home Health.
This was another one of those posts that actually made me laugh out loud.

We just can't make up these things!!!

Haha, thanks! It makes me laugh hysterically now but at the time I just wanted to scream.

Perhaps next I shall tell the tale of the Sodium Bicarb.

Orca, ADN, ASN, RN

2,066 Posts

Specializes in Hospice, corrections, psychiatry, rehab, LTC.

Please do. This was well worth the read.

GenieToBe

27 Posts

Specializes in ICU, CCU, NICU and L&D.

I do wish i had a tape recorder too on multiple occasions.

My most memorable is the time when i was in the post natal department. I was showing new parents how to bathe their newborn. While I was cleaning the newborn's face:-

Newborn's father: After each feeding, is it possible to wash the baby's mouth out with Listerine?

Me: Why would you want to do that?

NF: Well isn't it obvious? Are you dense? The baby's mouth will smell after from all that milk!

Me: Sir, why would you want to use Listerine of all things? (I was still trying to get him to see sense, i failed)

NF: I like minty fresh besides i'll just get the baby to gargle it out.

Me: Can newborns gargle?

NF: Of course they can!! If they can vomit, they can surely gargle.

*Mentally smacks forehead*

Specializes in ICU, ER, NURSING EDUCATION.
I do wish i had a tape recorder too on multiple occasions.

My most memorable is the time when i was in the post natal department. I was showing new parents how to bathe their newborn. While I was cleaning the newborn's face:-

Newborn's father: After each feeding, is it possible to wash the baby's mouth out with Listerine?

Me: Why would you want to do that?

NF: Well isn't it obvious? Are you dense? The baby's mouth will smell after from all that milk!

Me: Sir, why would you want to use Listerine of all things? (I was still trying to get him to see sense, i failed)

NF: I like minty fresh besides i'll just get the baby to gargle it out.

Me: Can newborns gargle?

NF: Of course they can!! If they can vomit, they can surely gargle.

*Mentally smacks forehead*

Wow...just WOW.

amoLucia

7,736 Posts

Specializes in retired LTC.

To Fmr_RNBSN - And we have anther winner!!! Made me LOL again!

Only I was thinking he was going to say he disliked the original Listerine flavor. I dislike it - too astringent and medicinal.

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Accolay

339 Posts

Helping a nurse give a bath at night:

"Do you want his SCD back on his legs?"

Pt's SO waking. Angry. Incredulous.

"What do you mean about his leg STDs?"

Specializes in Medsurg/ICU, Mental Health, Home Health.
Please do. This was well worth the read.

I'm a little nervous to now. Less than 24 hours after I posted that we received a referral to reopen his care. It's like how you're not supposed to speak the name of frequent flyers in the hospital, I suppose. And I'd rather deal with Fyorset than with the Bicarb dude. *knocks on wood*

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