Classified

  1. These were from actual classified ads.
    >
    > ---------------------------------
    >FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG. BITES.
    > ----------------------------------
    >FREE PUPPIES: COCKER SPANIEL, SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG.
    > -----------------------------
    >FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD, PART STUPID DOG.
    > ------------------------------
    >GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
    > -------------------------------------
    >FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT... BEEN OUT AWHILE...
    > BETTER BE A REWARD.
    > -----------------------------------
    >SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
    > -------------------------------
    >COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED... ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.
    >-------------------------------
    >NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY.
    > -------------------------------------
    >HUMMERS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER - "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
    >---------------------------------------
    >GEORGIA PEACHES, CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.
    > -----------------------------------------
    >NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE.
    >-----------------------------------------
    >TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT
    >SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 -- $9 PER HOUR.
    > -------------------------------------------
    >EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS - $175.
    > -------------------------------------------
    >JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER &DRYER $300.
    > ------------------------------------------
    >ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR "AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER".
    > -------------------------------------------
    >OPEN HOUSE: BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON. FREE COFFEE & DONUTS.
    > --------------------------------------
    >AND THE BEST ONE:
    >FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes.
    > Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married
    > last month. Freaking Wife knows everything.
    >
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  2. 3 Comments

  3. by   gwenith
    :chuckle::chuckle::chuckle:
  4. by   funnygirl_rn
    Funny Shamrock...one gay bull, hateful little dog, bites...heehee!
  5. by   rnnurse2be
    OH MY GOSH.... I about PEED MY PANTS!! These are WAY WAY FUNNY! The dog ones were my fav's.
    1/2 sneaky neighbors dog, LOL LOL

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