Classes for men...

(should they be mandatory?)

Classes for Men



Classes for men at our local Learning Center for Adults - Sign-up by Sept. 31, 2003

NOTE: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their content, each course will accept a maximum of 8 participants.


*TOPIC 1

HOW TO FILL UP THE ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step, with slide presentation.


*TOPIC 2
THE TOILET PAPER ROLL: DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Round table discussion.


*TOPIC 3
IS IT POSSIBLE TO URINATE USING THE TECHNIQUE OF LIFTING THE SEAT UP AND
AVOIDING THE FLOOR/WALLS AND NEARBY BATHTUB?
Group Practice.


*TOPIC 4
FUNDAMENTAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE LAUNDRY HAMPER AND THE FLOOR.
Pictures and explanatory graphics.


*TOPIC 5
THE AFTER-DINNER DISHES AND SILVERWARE: CAN THEY LEVITATE AND FLY INTO THE
KITCHEN SINK?
Examples on Video.


*TOPIC 6
LOSS OF IDENTITY: LOSING THE REMOTE OR ALLOWING OTHERS TO USE IT.
Help line support and support groups.


*TOPIC 7
LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS, STARTING WITH LOOKING IN THE RIGHT PLACE
INSTEAD OF TURNING THE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN WHILE SCREAMING.
Open forum.


*TOPIC 8
HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH.
Graphics and audio tape.


*TOPIC 9
REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST.
Real life testimonials.


*TOPIC 10
IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation.


*TOPIC 11
LEARNING TO LIVE: BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LIVING ALONE OR WITH OTHERS.
Online classes and role playing.


*TOPIC 12
HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION.
Relaxation, exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.


*TOPIC 13
HOW TO FIGHT CEREBRAL ATROPHY: REMEMBERING BIRTHDAYS, ANNIVERSARIES, OTHER
IMPORTANT DATES AND CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE.!
Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.


*TOPIC 14
CAR KEYS AND OTHER ITEMS:
Practice on developing skills of putting things back where they belong so
that they can be easily found.


~Upon completion of the course, diplomas will be issued to any survivors.




***BUMPERS STICKERS FOR LADIES ***

~BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL WOMAN IS HERSELF

~OH MY GOD, I THINK I'M BECOMING THE MAN I WANTED TO MARRY!

~GINGER ROGERS DID EVERYTHING FRED ASTAIRE DID, BUT SHE DID IT BACKWARDS AND
IN HIGH HEELS

~A WOMAN IS LIKE A TEA BAG...YOU DON'T KNOW HOW STRONG SHE IS UNTIL YOU PUT
HER IN HOT WATER

~I HAVE YET TO HEAR A MAN ASK FOR ADVICE ON HOW TO COMBINE MARRIAGE AND A
CAREER


~COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN ... SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH

DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN

~I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I HAVE A GUN

~WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT

~OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME

~DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN

~ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE

~I CAN BE ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPENS TO BAD PEOPLE

~HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?

~DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES


***And last but not least:

~IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN !


(ok Guys... awaiting the backlash !)