Charting Bloopers - Page 54

Not a blooper, but it gave us a night full of laughs! I had been off the night before and my preceptor had taken care of my assigned pt. He was shipped to another hospital for a procedure, but we weren't sure if he was coming back to us or not that night so I was reading up in case he did.

The intensivist wrote: "x year-old pleasant gentleman, previously lady."

My poor preceptor was thrown for a loop! Apparently the pt had refused to take his pants off, now we knew why!!

That'll be one heck of a big baby!

hey guys, P***y is actually a term used to describe purulent drainage. Learned that last year when i got wound care certified.

I was working ER one night. The Ortho tech/ward clerk took a EMS radio call. Pt stated she "had vines coming from her Virginia"
Seems the patient had uterine prolapse & used a sweet potato to "push " it back in. Needless to say the ERP documentd this & that she truly had "vines coming her Virginia" The warm moist environment made the sweet potato sprout!!! wonder how long she left it there? I did not see it but I wonder how long the vines were & how she used the bathrooM??????

(not really on charting)

a watcher came to the station saying:
"Grandma VERBALIZED she's constipated"...


I, and my Nurse Aid frowned, then smiled...

just so happened that GRANDMA had a tracheostomy.

when I was a pt, I heard on the intercom another pt talking to the nurses station: "I need a cough suppressant so that I can suppress my cough.." Next thing I heard was the giggle of nurses!!! Hit 'em funny, I guess.. :}

Not really a charting blooper but made me crack up laughing.

We had an admit from ER earlier in the night (not my patient Thank god!) Drunk, combative, c-spine precautions refusing everything, cussing out the RN, taking the collar off and throwing it around, threatening to kick everyones butt, just a real PITA pt. My co-worker spent most of her night on the phone with docs and charting his behavior.

That a.m. I just happened to be sitting at the computer when the attending for this pt. sat down next to me and began dictating, and I quote:

"Pt. is a total piece of s$*%, being a total a*&&^%e to the nurses, threatening to leave AMA and I hope he does"

I never laughed so hard in my life.

i love transcription errors. i laughed one day when a doctor's note said "she experienced an access her basin." (yeah...exacerbation...)
thanx everyone for making me laugh until i cried – and just when i calmed down, i read the next one and started again!

This patient is in a long term rehab psych service and had gone into hospital for a colonoscopy. I saw this written in her notes...

"Mood settled and appropriate, although she did ask the radiologist if the tube being inserted into her bottom was going to turn her into a Maori princess. Reassured it wouldn't. ___ in positive mood on return to ____"

She came to my ER too! >laugh< Just about the same exact story. Sweet potatoes must be the perfect stand-in. And then there was the lady who came in saying she had 'fireballs of the eucharist', and she thought they were bleeding. Holy Fibroids!

Savvy