Charting Bloopers - page 54

Found in the History and Physical section of a patient's chart who had experienced visual hallucinations while ill: "Patient vehemently denies any auditory, tactile, or old factory hallucinations." YIKES! Angela... Read More

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    Not a blooper, but it gave us a night full of laughs! I had been off the night before and my preceptor had taken care of my assigned pt. He was shipped to another hospital for a procedure, but we weren't sure if he was coming back to us or not that night so I was reading up in case he did.

    The intensivist wrote: "x year-old pleasant gentleman, previously lady."

    My poor preceptor was thrown for a loop! Apparently the pt had refused to take his pants off, now we knew why!!

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  2. 3
    Quote from lovenandj, RN
    Pt is currently 15 months pregnant

    (I work in psych )

    That'll be one heck of a big baby!
    sharpeimom, mr_nurse_drew, and pca_85 like this.
  3. 0
    hey guys, P***y is actually a term used to describe purulent drainage. Learned that last year when i got wound care certified.
  4. 1
    I was working ER one night. The Ortho tech/ward clerk took a EMS radio call. Pt stated she "had vines coming from her Virginia"
    Seems the patient had uterine prolapse & used a sweet potato to "push " it back in. Needless to say the ERP documentd this & that she truly had "vines coming her Virginia" The warm moist environment made the sweet potato sprout!!! wonder how long she left it there? I did not see it but I wonder how long the vines were & how she used the bathrooM??????
    semiller36545 likes this.
  5. 0
    (not really on charting)

    a watcher came to the station saying:
    "Grandma VERBALIZED she's constipated"...


    I, and my Nurse Aid frowned, then smiled...

    just so happened that GRANDMA had a tracheostomy.
  6. 1
    when I was a pt, I heard on the intercom another pt talking to the nurses station: "I need a cough suppressant so that I can suppress my cough.." Next thing I heard was the giggle of nurses!!! Hit 'em funny, I guess.. :}
    DeLanaHarvickWannabe likes this.
  7. 10
    Not really a charting blooper but made me crack up laughing.

    We had an admit from ER earlier in the night (not my patient Thank god!) Drunk, combative, c-spine precautions refusing everything, cussing out the RN, taking the collar off and throwing it around, threatening to kick everyones butt, just a real PITA pt. My co-worker spent most of her night on the phone with docs and charting his behavior.

    That a.m. I just happened to be sitting at the computer when the attending for this pt. sat down next to me and began dictating, and I quote:

    "Pt. is a total piece of s$*%, being a total a*&&^%e to the nurses, threatening to leave AMA and I hope he does"

    I never laughed so hard in my life.
    0.adamantite, finn55, silverbat, and 7 others like this.
  8. 0
    i love transcription errors. i laughed one day when a doctor's note said "she experienced an access her basin." (yeah...exacerbation...)
    thanx everyone for making me laugh until i cried and just when i calmed down, i read the next one and started again!
  9. 7
    This patient is in a long term rehab psych service and had gone into hospital for a colonoscopy. I saw this written in her notes...

    "Mood settled and appropriate, although she did ask the radiologist if the tube being inserted into her bottom was going to turn her into a Maori princess. Reassured it wouldn't. ___ in positive mood on return to ____"
    0.adamantite, sharpeimom, cheska_rn, and 4 others like this.
  10. 1
    Quote from Meryea
    I was working ER one night. The Ortho tech/ward clerk took a EMS radio call. Pt stated she "had vines coming from her Virginia"
    Seems the patient had uterine prolapse & used a sweet potato to "push " it back in. Needless to say the ERP documentd this & that she truly had "vines coming her Virginia" The warm moist environment made the sweet potato sprout!!! wonder how long she left it there? I did not see it but I wonder how long the vines were & how she used the bathrooM??????
    She came to my ER too! >laugh< Just about the same exact story. Sweet potatoes must be the perfect stand-in. And then there was the lady who came in saying she had 'fireballs of the eucharist', and she thought they were bleeding. Holy Fibroids!

    Savvy
    finn55 likes this.


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