Charting Bloopers - page 31

Found in the History and Physical section of a patient's chart who had experienced visual hallucinations while ill: "Patient vehemently denies any auditory, tactile, or old factory... Read More

  1. by   nurse-to-be1000
    Quote from Adam D. RN2005
    In my Nursing class, our instructor introduced us to Go-Litely by saying "it does anything but make you go lightly. It makes your pt go heavily, go oftely, and you go quickly when your patient rings your new friend, the call light."
    I had the unfortunate experience of having to take Go-Litely several years ago, and I agreed with that statement completely. And I to this day wonder if the name Go-Litely was someones idea of a joke.

    I also feel sorry for the candy company that named itself Golitely. Everytime I see that name I can't touch the candy-I think it is a diabetic candy. Go-Litely is a terrible drink.
  2. by   belabelisa
    Quote from nurse-to-be1000
    I also feel sorry for the candy company that named itself Golitely. Everytime I see that name I can't touch the candy-I think it is a diabetic candy. Go-Litely is a terrible drink.
    A diabetic candy... that's hilarious!
  3. by   Myxel67
    Seen in nursing notes of large female pt: Pt has thunder thighs. Nurse said she thought it was OK to write it because she heard pts doctor say it!
  4. by   ayla2004
    Quote from banditrn
    Wonder why they didn't use a suction cath?
    suction caths that i've seen can't be inflated to stay in.
  5. by   theofficegirl
    Quote from Terre
    A new intern to our CCU once charted attempts to cardiovert a patient in the following manner:
    Attempted to convert the patient with 200 jews, unsuccessful. Second attempt to convert the patient with 300 jews unsuccessful. Patient finally converted on the third attempt with 300 jews.
    The mental picture of three hundred rabbis surrounding a patient's bed yelling, "Convert, convert!" was too much. We nicknamed him "Call a Code or Call a Rabbi" from that day forward.
    This is the absolute BEST I've ever heard! I literally cried from laughing so hard. Oy VEY! :chuckle I realise it's a few years old (from 2001!), but I've called a few friends to share... this is priceless!

    I have a few to add, not nearly as funny:

    "Patient was seen for squeamish cell carcinoma" Dangers of spellcheck?

    "Rythym abnormal, regularly irregular" Well, which is it, Doc?

    "Put the patient on the floor" I hope we don't get sued for this one!

    ... and I can't tell you how many notes I've read about "pu**y drainage"! There was a time I thought this was a nursing legend!

    "
  6. by   The Limey
    I have to confess *raises hand* I'm a new grad, I removed a Pt's staples from his head, then charted on it. Instead of writing dehiscence I wrote: "7 Staples removed from left side of scalp. No signs infection, No signs evisceration. Patient tolerated well."

    Oops. At least it was true and his brain didn't spill out!
  7. by   grace90
    Quote from Terre
    A new intern to our CCU once charted attempts to cardiovert a patient in the following manner:
    Attempted to convert the patient with 200 jews, unsuccessful. Second attempt to convert the patient with 300 jews unsuccessful. Patient finally converted on the third attempt with 300 jews.
    The mental picture of three hundred rabbis surrounding a patient's bed yelling, "Convert, convert!" was too much. We nicknamed him "Call a Code or Call a Rabbi" from that day forward.
    Now that I've taken ACLS this seems a lot more funny to me now!
  8. by   brainynurse
    <TABLE id=HB_Mail_Container height="100%" cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0 UNSELECTABLE="on"><TBODY><TR height="100%" UNSELECTABLE="on" width="100%"><TD id=HB_Focus_Element vAlign=top width="100%" background="" height=250 UNSELECTABLE="off">We recently had a new resident come and pronounce a pt deceased.
    He charted in the progress note: pt appears stated age of 104, cause of death unknown.
    </TD></TR><TR UNSELECTABLE="on" hb_tag="1"><TD style="FONT-SIZE: 1pt" height=1 UNSELECTABLE="on">
    </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
  9. by   BJLynn
    "Resident was reported to be quite lethargic @ noc."
  10. by   UM Review RN
    Quote from BJLynn
    "Resident was reported to be quite lethargic @ noc."

    Oh my, wasn't that the night it was dark out?
  11. by   Myxel67
    [QUOTE=theofficegirl;2099548]This is the absolute BEST I've ever heard! I literally cried from laughing so hard. Oy VEY! :chuckle I realise it's a few years old (from 2001!), but I've called a few friends to share... this is priceless!

    "Rythym abnormal, regularly irregular" Well, which is it, Doc?

    Other than the misspelling of rhythm, there's nothing wrong with this. We do see pts who have a regular pattern of irregular beats

    @@@....@....@@@....@....@@@....@....@@@....@....@@ @....@....@@@
  12. by   JRapha'sRN
    Quote from brainynurse
    We recently had a new resident come and pronounce a pt deceased.
    He charted in the progress note: pt appears stated age of 104, cause of death unknown.
    Although it's obvious that OLD AGE was the cause, I believe it is not an official cause of death anymore. (Blame the insurance companies and people who write all the medical codes) The docs have to come up with something that was treatable as the cause of death.
  13. by   KckStrt
    one day i am taking care of a guy with hf... the edema in his arms and legs was about 4+. iv lasix, the whole 9 yards.... noncompliant heroin addict with sores all over his arms. spent the last 10 years on the streets after serving a 20 prison sentence. all of this is obviously in his chart. this guy is in desperate need of help. i am looking over different consults and find one from a social worker who interviews the pt and gives her recommendation for housing. based on his current health conditions and financial (or lack of) situation he "might" be eligible for housing assistance. one catch though, if he has been incarcerated or had any felony convictions he would not be eligible... i thought, did she not read his hx? to add further insult she told the patient all of this info....
    <o
    do people actually do their jobs or is it an illusion?<o

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Charting Bloopers