Charting Bloopers - page 19

Found in the History and Physical section of a patient's chart who had experienced visual hallucinations while ill: "Patient vehemently denies any auditory, tactile, or old factory... Read More

  1. by   xmaxiex
    We had two pts with almost exactly the same name (one letter off) .However one was male Leslie . And the other was female Michael.


    Poor Leslie varied between BPH and vaginal irritation .

    And michael was status post removal of penile implant one day and candidas the next .
  2. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from Trauma-tizedRN
    oops another...

    Cardiologist discussing the need for a "catheterization" with a very HOH older patient. Doc leaves...next thing I know, pt is on the phone with family telling them that he is going for a castration today! And talking so lound half the unit can hear! Wife wants to talk to nurse. Says she's glad to hear it wasn't his heart afterall. OMG
    she must not have cared about the castration.
  3. by   vablueyes
    Reading notes from local doctor on a patient from nursing home, who had had a right mastectomy several years earlier..." patient alert x 4, appears well fed, right breast still missing." (like it would grow back like a lizard tail???)

    This same doc a few years ago admited a patient to the floor with "pork chop enteritis"...hmmm...
  4. by   tencat
    Quote from vablueyes
    Reading notes from local doctor on a patient from nursing home, who had had a right mastectomy several years earlier..." patient alert x 4, appears well fed, right breast still missing." (like it would grow back like a lizard tail???)
    :chuckle

    I can see it now, "Found: right breast. Please call and identify..."
  5. by   Spirit of Humor
    Quote from RNkat
    From the physician progress notes on a patient with a glass eye:
    "PERRLA"

    And then there was the ER doc who charted: "Both breasts equal and reactive to light and accommodation."

    ya gotta laugh!




    [PHP]Why is it that all of the instruments seeking intelligent life in the universe are pointed away from Earth? [/PHP]
  6. by   Spirit of Humor
    Quote from Cubby
    While working at our local Psychiatric Hospital many years ago (when nursing was still fun) I had a patient who had lost his shoes a few days prior. Well this particular day he was acting odder than usual so we checked him for an impaction. It was charted like this 'Checked for impaction, shoe found' OH MY!!!


    Ouch! Bet it was hard for the patient to get off on the right foot... Oh well, if the shoe fits...




    [PHP][FONT=Comic Sans MS]Why is it that all of the instruments seeking intelligent life in the universe are pointed away from Earth?[/FONT][/PHP]
  7. by   daisybaby
    Postop pt came to our floor with MD order: "Foley to low wall suction".
  8. by   NessaNurse
    One of my kids was sort of going nuts post op, he was moving all over the place, seeing stuff ect..I called Dr. for possible restriant orders (to keep his f/c and iscision safe) but a thte time he was calm.
    MDs order...."if he goes Ape Sh*t overnight call me"...
    IS that a medical definition? Funny yhitng was in the night he was calm but he did have a MASSIVe BM overnight right in the middle of his bed..IS that waht the MD meant?
  9. by   DutchgirlRN
    Pt telemetry alarm going off at desk repeatedly, pt sleeping w/o any distress noted, telemetry turned off at the desk.

    This patient was found dead during the 0400 v/s. Needless to say, this stupid nurse lost her liscense and the hospital is involved in a lawsuit.
  10. by   DutchgirlRN
    Quote from daisybaby
    Postop pt came to our floor with MD order: "Foley to low wall suction".
    OUCH !
  11. by   gnashaf
    Recently read H&P where pt accidently took cocaine before hospitalization
  12. by   nursedee75
    Pt with a penile infection:

    "Nurse to clean schmegma off pt's penis"

    Never mind that the pt was A&Ox3, and had 2 good hands.
  13. by   Adam D. RN2005
    Seen in my pts chart this evening: Please Toilet Mouth. Thank you.

    Had the unit in stitches. What do we do, put toilet water in the mouth. I mean really. And this same md for another pt wrote, Change Prevacid to 30 mg IV. Well, he should have looked at his own orders because the Prevacid was 30 mg IV since the pt was admitted.

    And another nurse noted that the MD wrote, if pt dies, don't call me or any resident. Huh?

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