Charting Bloopers

Nurses Humor

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Have you seen any charting bloopers?

Found in the History and Physical section of a patient's chart who had experienced visual hallucinations while ill:

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"Patient vehemently denies any auditory, tactile, or old factory hallucinations."

I review medical records all day and have come across some really wierd ones.

"from both flebitis" (thrombophlebitis?)

"very close veins" (varicose?)

"patient is matching his eyes and his nose" (I's & O's?)

" no evidence of libido on lower extremities" (livido?)

"paralyzed with the neck team" (Anectine?)

"ptosis given @ 2 mu for induction of labor" (Pitocin?)

But I guess my all time favorite is "two lane hospital" (Tulane)

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I think it's posted elsewhere on this site: the physician couldn't think of the correct name for the incentive spirometer, so he wrote: suck balls QID! 

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I've still seen thick, white drainage as ***** more than once. As a matter of fact just three days ago! What drove me crazy was that I was sitting there trying to think of the alternate term and could not remember "purulent". That Alzheimer's thing again!

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Originally posted by Jay-Jay

I think it's posted elsewhere on this site: the physician couldn't think of the correct name for the incentive spirometer, so he wrote: suck balls QID! 

did you carry out this order?

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No, no, the PATIENT was to carry out the order! Would have been an interesting sight to see.....

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Originally posted by Jay-Jay

No, no, the PATIENT was to carry out the order! Would have been an interesting sight to see.....

if he did carry it out...would probably never leave his house once he got home....:chuckle

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Specializes in NICU, PICU, PCVICU and peds oncology.

This isn't exactly a blooper, but I thought it was rather funny. A peds resident had written a consult for one of our ED attendings:

"Your help with IV access for this child on long-term antibiotics. I tried X3 and failed. Can you help us out?"

The attending's reply read:

"I tried.

I succeeded"

Knowing the attending, I can hear him saying it out loud before he wrote it!:roll Reading this made the hour-plus it took me to wade thru the chart well worth it.

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that is so funny, I once charted, "g-tube patent draining clear yellow urine"!

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Specializes in Geri, psych, TCU, neuro--AKA LTC.

"Res. found digging in rectum. Large BM. Ate 50% for dinner with much encouragement.~~~~~~~~~~signed."

BWAAAHHHAAAHHAA!

Same nurse asked me the other day how to spell pus-sy, because everyone laughs the way she spells it...

Gotta love nursing!!

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Originally posted by BJRN76

We all got a good laugh at work after reading a consultation from our ID doctor. She wrote...pt has large amount of ***** drainage... we decided that purulent might look better. (Keep in mind it was a slow day)

seen THAT one more than once.....LOL

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Originally posted by boobaby42

I have a bad habit of spelling pus or puss, oh heck, which ever, wrong. Everybody gets quite a jolt reading my notes decribing an infection. Pus filled or puss filled. You decide.

Ummmmm.......how you spell it could mean a difference in the location of the infection......(get it?  )

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Originally posted by LilgirlRN

I took care of a bedbound patient once who was just a litttle bit eccentric. She was perfectly well groomed, no bedsores, had round the clock sitters but wouldn't let anyone touch her feet. The H&P ended with this line..."And she has the longest toenails I've ever seen in my whole life"

LMAO! I don't know why, but of all these entries, this one made me spit my pop laughing!

These are great!

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