Beutiful Arizona!

May 30th--- Now this is a state that knows how to live!!
Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains
and deserts blended together. What a place! Watched the
sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've
finally found my home I love it here.

June 14th--- Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a
problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an
air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day
like this. I'm turning into a real sun worshiper.

June 30th--- Had the backyard landscaped with western plants
today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain.
No more mowing for me. Another scorcher today, but I love
it here.

July 10th--- The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week.
How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's a
dry heat. Getting used to it is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th--- Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns
over 60% of my body.) Missed two days of work, what a
dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though: got to respect
the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20th--- I missed Tabby (our cat) sneaking into the car
when I left this morning. By the time I got out to the hot car
for lunch, Tabby had swollen up to the size of a shopping bag
and exploded all over $2,000 worth of leather upholstery. I
told the kids she ran away. The car now smells like Kibbles
and sh**. No more pets in this heat!

July 25th--- Dry heat, my a$$. Hot is hot!! The home
air-conditioner is on the fritz and AC repairman charged $200
just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th--- Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights
now. $1,100 in damn house payments and we can't even go
inside. Why did I ever come here?

Aug 4th--- 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed
today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to about
90. Stupid repairman ****** in my pool. I hate this state.

Aug 8th--- If another wise a$$ cracks,"Hot enough for you
today?", I'm going to tear his throat out. Damn heat.
By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my
clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like roasted Garfield!!

Aug 10th--- The weather report might as well be a damn
recording: Hot and Sunny. It's been too hot for two
damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm
up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this barren damn
desert?? Water rationing has been in effect all summer, so
$1,700 worth of cactus just dried up and blew into the
pool. Even a cactus can't live in this heat.

Aug 14th--- Welcome to Hell!!! Temperature got to 123
today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the
windshield out of the Lincoln. The installer came to fix it and
said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the
$1,100 house payment to bail me out of jail.

Aug 30th--- Worst day of the damn summer. I'm not leaving
the house. The monsoon rains finally came and all
they did is to make it muggier than hell. The Lincoln is now
floating somewhere in Mexico with it's new $500
windshield.

That does it, we're moving to New York City for some peace and
quiet.