Alcohol Warning

  1. Liquor Warning for 2003

    Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all containers:

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in your getting your ass kicked.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
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  2. 3 Comments

  3. by   Shamrock
    :chuckle Can't wait to start reading my liquor bottles, will be great entertainment. Maybe this
    should be another: Warning, the consumption of
    alcohol may cause you to think the FDA is smart.
    :chuckle
  4. by   FutureRN~Pookie
    Originally posted by gwenith
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.



    so THAT'S why i get kicked out of karaoke bars.....
  5. by   nowplayingEDRN
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.
    So that is what happened after that 5th of tequila a few years back.......LOL LOL LOL:roll Makes perfect sense now!!!!

    Christie

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