A few sarcastic remarks to get you through the day (public service :) )

  1. SARCASTIC REMARKS TO GET YOU THROUGH THE DAY:

    1. And your crybaby whiny opinion would be...?

    2. Do I look like a people person?

    3. This isn't an office. It's Hell with
    fluorescent lighting.

    4. I started out with nothing & still have most
    of it left.

    5. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

    6. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

    7. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

    8. You!... Off my planet!

    9. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little
    feet, I'll put shoes on my cats.

    10. Does your train of thought have a caboose?

    11. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

    12. A PBS mind in an MTV world.

    13. Allow me to introduce my selves.

    14. Whatever kind of look you were going for,
    you missed.

    15. Suburbia: where they tear out the trees and then
    name streets after them.

    16. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

    17. See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.

    18. I have a computer, a remote control, and
    pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?

    19. Not all men [women] are annoying. Some are dead.

    20. Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll
    be receiving if you touch me?

    21. A woman's favorite position is CEO.

    22. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

    23. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

    24. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you
    realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

    25. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

    26. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just
    wanted paychecks.

    27. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

    28. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

    29. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

    30. I plead contemporary insanity.

    31. And which dwarf are you?

    32. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

    33. Meandering to a different drummer.

    34. I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here
    or to go?
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  2. 12 Comments

  3. by   LyndaK
    Thank you! Thank you! I can use a few of those next week!!

    LyndaK
  4. by   Y2KRN
    Thank you these remarks are great!!!!!! LMAO Y2K
  5. by   Dplear
    another one....
    just because you are paranoid does not mean they are not out to get you....
  6. by   night owl
    oh boy, am i going to have fun this week! :d thank you
  7. by   debbyed
    I had to print this out to take to work
  8. by   LoisBear
    To mgtompson: those were some of the best one liners I have seen...I have printed them and will put them up in my nursing station....My favorite is the chaos, panic and disorder-my work is done here. I work hospice and we often state that
    the sh## is going to hit the fan, after we unimpact it
    patients come in two categories: the annoying and the dead.
    Is it possible for the family to have an out of body experience instead of the patient?
    Hospice is for those of us who don't like the color choice in a code blue.
  9. by   misti_z
    Posted by mgthompson:
    24. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
    Been there, done that!

    28. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
    perfume/cologne, I know a few doctors I would like to ask this!!
  10. by   kewlnurse
    Meandering to a different drummer, love it!
  11. by   Ellen in Ont
    During the first "Survivor" episodes, I heard a cute saying that would fit here. You are sooo off the island!
  12. by   Enright
    I do love well placed sarcasm.....but I find it plays really BADLY here in the midwest. For a Jersey girl like myself, that takes away a major part of my arsenal. They just can't handle it here.
  13. by   prn nurse
    ""SAVE IT FOR SOMEONE WHO CARES !!""
  14. by   SweetnesssssRN
    thx for the laughs mgthompson! my favorite sarcastic quote that i practically live by at work is: "did you forget to take your medication today?? or did I !?!?"

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