Okay, a friend sent this to me so I just put astericks in where the swear words are. There are quite a few but this is pretty funny.
9 THINGS I HATE ABOUT CERTAIN PEOPLE
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is pal, where the f is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their a** to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". D*mn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the f would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their a**!
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?" No loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the f**ing floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short". What the f****?? Life is the longest d*mn thing anyone ever f**ing does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumba**?
Jul 7, '03
The remote control thing is so me! I will spen an hour looking for it My TV is a whole 5 feet from my chair, it is too hard and how can I possibly enjoy myself walking so far!!!!
Jul 7, '03
Funny...thanks for the laugh!
Jul 8, '03
Have to include when someboby asks whats going on in a movie and you've both been watching it for the same amount of time.
Jul 8, '03
Bawhawwwww... Loved each one.
Jul 20, '03
How about...."The grass is always greener on the other side."....have you turned grass over? That's dirt! And then there's
, "Have a nice day" Who the hell are YOU to tell ME what kind of day to have? What if I'm on my way to a FUNERAL!! Then the people that ask ,"How are you?", but don't wait for an answer. What if you actually started to tell them how you are, do you think they'd listen? Sometimes the little "niceties drive me crazier than I already am!
Jul 22, '03
I remember the time right after I had my daughter her and I went to the store. There she was all dressed in pink with a tiny little pink bow in her hair and this "retarded" woman came up to me and said, Oh your baby is beautiful. Is it a boy or a girl?
I hated when that happened...