10 things you say at work lay people could get arrested for - page 5

Very, very funny and true! If I may add one more: "Spread open your legs so I can insert this "(foley cath)... Read More

  1. by   MMARN
    Quote from TriageRN_34
    Things that may get you arrested or generally hit!


    5. Take a deep breath as I pull this out (male RN foley d/c).
    6. Don't worry, I have small fingers and lots of lube (insert supp).
    7. I can't get this in, let me get someone to help. (IV insert).
    These made me spit onto my computer screen!!! :chuckle
  2. by   jess_m
    I've asked a woman how her nipples were feeling. She just laughed but then she realized I was asking her about it because she was a new breastfeeding mom.
  3. by   dorimar
    Hey betty, your turn, I blew him twice already!
  4. by   gymjunkie
    While doing venipuncture I said "You'll feel a little prick" the female patient goes I had a big one last night. I didn't ask but did she mean a bigger needle or her boyfriend's got a big p***s.
  5. by   nursewannbe
    These are sooooo funny!!! I love them!!!
    Nursewannbe
  6. by   vamedic4
    Quote from dorimar
    Hey betty, your turn, I blew him twice already!

    Now that's funny!
  7. by   Saz4370
    My favorite was working inthe Coronary Care Unit. My Team leader and I were especially challenged to look after a very big, strong and aggressive man with a temp. pacing wire in his groin (very awkward posittion!). My TL, a very experienced CCU RN called out to me from behind the curtains "get me some more tape please while I'm holding this". On returning, there she was with a big handful of genitles, not realising she had been holding them just a little too long after I had already applied more tape! Needless to say, no complaints from the patient!
  8. by   Roy Fokker
    Quote from dorimar
    Hey betty, your turn, I blew him twice already!
    Oh goodness!
  9. by   marybethm
    To my co-workers,"Another one bites the dust..." Gallows humor, I guess.
  10. by   elizabells
    Said by my preceptor when I was learning to give a suppository to an infant:

    Now, just gently push your pinky finger one knuckle deep into his rectum...
  11. by   vamedic4
    I'd like to intubate her with my laryngoscope of love....
  12. by   jaky_speaks
    I look very asian, but I'm hispanic, so working in a family care clinic for a chinese doctor he taught me what to say as a curtesy to his patients.
    I would walk in, paper garments in hand and say (in mandarin):

    "I don't speak chinese, please get naked"

    'undressed' was completely unpronouncable!
  13. by   RNDYN2CU
    Sir you'e going to have to poop into this hat until the pin comes out and please save it for me, I have to sift you stool! ( another fond County General Hospital memory.)

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