10 things you say at work lay people could get arrested for

"Ok, you're free to go; well, not really." Said to a prisoner leaving the ER accompanied by a sheriff's deputy.

Pam

I was very ill post op, dehydrated, went to my own ER. On my third liter, a male nurse told me "I'd sure like to see you pee!" Told him "its not a spectator sport"

I'm not a nurse yet but I had a nurse tell me when I had to get a shot in the hip " Pull down your jeans, bend over and you'll get a little prick". I couldn't help but laugh. I'm glad it she was a friend of mine. I told her I'm not that kind of guy!

"Can you pee into this cup for me?"

"Okay, here comes the catheter."

While preparing a male donor for plasma donation.....when he asked why I was stroking his arm to make the vein pop up...... "If I stroke it, it comes up faster." I thought he and everyone within earshot would fall out laughing.

Littlewon's dh here, I used to be an orderly in OR and one day I was sent to pick up a patient from ER who had caught a circular saw, when I got there he was still fully dressed (including winter coat) so I told the nurse, "I can't take him anywhere, he's still dressed".

Take off all of your clothes......

The doctor will be in a minute to check you out. (Yes, I really did say this to a female patient about a male doctor.)

I need you to take off your pants so I can look at your penis.

When a patient has asked, do you remember me and you answer, I didn't recgonize you with your clothes on.

When was the last time you had sex?

BWWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!!!

"When this hits the back of your throat, you need to swallow"

~inserting an NG tube~

It's not the things I say that would get me in trouble in the rest of the world, it's the things I do- Actions speak louder than words right?

I've been known to kiss "clients" and even to lie in bed with them! Love peds homecare!
Oh, and what about the little girl I was potty training who always refused to wear undies instead of a diaper until I tired and frustrated and did the same thing I've done with my nieces "Look! I'm wearing Big Girl Panties!" as I pull the waistband out of the top of my slacks. That just wouldn't fly in the corporate world.